Rightful Owner
by Geri K
Summary: Obi-Wan is a new apprentice, but the shadow of Xanatos is causing him to lose faith. Will he survive his apprenticeship, or will being Qui-Gon's unwanted Padawan finally cause him to give up.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Rightful Owner  
Author:Geri K Timeframe: JA  
Characters: Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon  
Genre: Obi-Angst PG  
Summary:Obi-Wan is Qui-Gon's Padawan, but in name only. One incident after another turn's him into a tense disillusioned boy, until he can stand it no more. Notes: This is a re-write of my story from another site.

Disclaimer: I don't own any known characters. They all belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing with them.

Chapter 1.

Qui-Gon's voice was beginning to grate on his nerves. Once again, he was being told that his behaviour was unacceptable. He stood steady and controlled; it wouldn't do him any good to be disrespectful. That would earn him more punishment. It was his duty to stand there and listen to his Master. Discipline was part of a Jedi's learning, but never in his young life had it been so constant.

"Obi Wan, you know very well that we get up just before sunrise. How many times do I need to explain our routine to you?"

Obi-Wan's first transgression for the day was earlier that morning. Obi-wan had slept in. Qui-Gon's idea of rising at 4.30am seemed to be normal for the Jedi Master, even though none of Obi-Wans fellow padawan's were made to rise that early. It was a good hour and a half before the rest of the Temple stirred. Qui-Gon said it was the best time to meditate before the temple filled with annoying intrusions in his life.

"Yes Master I'm sorry."

"Obi-Wan I don't need you to be sorry. I require dedication to your training. I need an answer to my question."

"Master I'm sorry for being disrespectful, but I was studying very late last night for my Astrophysics test tomorrow. I do know that a routine is very important in a Jedi's training and I'll do better."

"See that you do Obi-Wan."

"Yes Master I will. May I be excused as I'm due in class in a few minutes."

"Yes, you are excused. I'll expect you in the training room after your class, for our Kata sessions. Make sure you're not late." Qui-Gon said and sighed like the weight of the galaxy was on his shoulders.

Obi-Wan hurried off to his Mathematics class. He was quite good with numbers and he knew he'd pass that exam in a few days. Therefore, when the teacher was writing next weeks assignments on the board, Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He was tired and thought (I'll close them for just a moment.) Eventually, a tapping sensation brought him back to a conscious state.

"Padawan Kenobi, am I boring you?"

Obi-Wan jumped up from his chair in a startled state. "Master Yaddle, I-I …" he glanced around and he was the only one left in the room. "I'm sorry Master."

"Do you have an excuse as to why you were asleep Padawan Kenobi?"

'No, Master Yaddle I'm tired but it's my own fault. I stayed up very late last night."

"Does your Master know that you are tired?"

"Yes Master Yaddle, he spoke to me this morning about my lack of focus."

"I see, tell me Padawan what time do you rise in the morning?"

"My Master likes us to rise at 4.30, before there are any interruptions to our meditations."

"Are your meditations rewarding?"

"I'm sorry Master? I'm not sure what you mean?"

"When you meditate with your Master in the morning are they satisfying, worthwhile, or are they disappointing?"

"I don't actually meditate with my Master. He sits over by the window and meditates and I sit on the floor," he answered nervously.

"So would you say your meditations are satisfying or disappointing?"

"I-I'm not sure, Sometimes I fall asleep and then my Master berates me… But I-I would like them to be satisfying."

"Very well Padawan Kenobi, I'll let your transgression go this time. Nevertheless, if you fall asleep in my class again your Master will hear of it."

"I'm sorry for being so disrespectful and it won't happen again. Thank you Master Yaddle."

Master Yaddle watched as Obi-Wan hurried down the hall. She felt the boy's nervousness and his weariness. She wondered why Qui-Gon found it necessary to rise at such an early hour. Especially if he didn't meditate with his Padawan. It surprised her, because when Xanatos was his Padawan they never rose before 6am. She rubbed her chin, she would keep her eye on young Obi-Wan and perhaps speak to Yoda about Master Jinn's early hours.

Obi-Wan hurried to the training halls. He knew his Master would be waiting. Relief filled him when he saw his Master walking in through the doors. Obi-Wan quickened his pace and caught the door before it closed.

"Ah there you are Padawan, right on time. We shall begin with level seven and continue through to level twelve. I want you to focus on each step of the kata. First you shall walk through them and then you can perform them at full pace."

"Yes Master," Obi-Wan said as he took off his outer tunic and his belt. He lay them on the bench and stepped to the centre. Qui-Gon stood off to the side with his hands on his hips.

Obi-Wan began the steps and drew the Force around him making sure he placed his feet in the right position for each faze of the kata. He began slow and steady and concentrated on his balance. He concentrated on his movements as he twisted and moved with accuracy. Deliberate swings of his arms and legs showed he was in control of the movements.

"You need to concentrate on your balance Padawan. You swayed when executing your spin. If you were spinning away from an opponent and you lost your balance as you just did, you'd be dead now!"

Obi-Wan lowered his head. "Yes Master I'll practice," he knew he hadn't lost his balance but it was not his place to argue with his Master.

An hour later Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon walked back to their apartment. "Padawan, Bant asked me if she could come over before lunch. She has something to tell you. I told her she could, but I don't want you to make too much noise while she's here. Do you understand Obi-Wan?"

"Yes Master, did she say what she wanted to tell me?"

"No she didn't Obi-Wan."

Obi-wan loved Bant's company and she made him feel good, she'd talk to him about silly stuff, they'd laugh, and he felt very comfortable in her presence. He knew she'd been hoping to be chosen soon and Obi-Wan wondered if that was what she wanted to tell him.

"Hi Obi," Bant said as he opened the door.

"Hi Bant, come in."

"Where's Master Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan glanced over to Qui-Gon's door. He was in his room but the door was open slightly. "My Master is in his room, lets sit on the sofa." He said quietly.

She was bubbling with excitement and could barely wait until she sat down to tell him her wonderful news.

"Obi, I just can't believe I'm going to be a Padawan," she giggled excitedly.

"Bant I'm really glad for you, I hope being an apprentice is everything you wished it would be." Obi said softly knowing his Master would not be happy about her raised voice.

But he couldn't spoil her excitement by telling her to be quiet; he could tell she was excited with anticipation. She chatted on for a few minutes and waved her arms telling him her story. Several time he heard a loud cough coming from his master's room. Obi-Wan knew that it was too late to try to keep her quiet; he would just take the punishment once she left.

"Being a Padawan has changed you too Obi, you're so controlled now, no more mucking around. I mean you know when to have fun and when to concentrate. I wish I could concentrate on my studies like you do."

"You'll be fine Bant and you will make a great apprentice."

She laughed and hugged him. "Oh do you think so! - I hope so. I don't want to make any mistakes. Oh, I'm so excited!"

"I can tell Bant, you're practically jumping out of your skin," he said smiling.

She got up to leave as Qui-Gon came out of his room. Obi-Wan hoped she would just leave quietly. It wasn't that he didn't want her to be happy; it was just that he'd promised his Master they'd be quiet.

But in a loud voice she looked past Obi-wan and said "Goodbye Master Jinn. Thank you for allowing me to visit with Obi"

Qui-Gon glanced at her and nodded, but Obi-Wan sensed the rising irritation coming from his Master as he turned and acknowledged Bant.

"Wow look at the time, it is nearly meal time. Oh by the way, are you coming to the picnic lunch in the gardens. Everyone is going. Are you going to come?" she chattered on as he walked her out the door.

Obi-Wan paused to look over at his Master who was staring blankly at him, a cold shiver passed over him, and he turned back to Bant and quietly said. "I'm not sure what I'll be doing for lunch I'll let you know. I'll see you later," he said as she left.

He closed the door quietly and turned around; Qui-Gon was standing in the middle of the room with his arms folded.

"Come here please Padawan."

Obi-wan felt the heat rise in his neck, he could never tell if Qui-Gon was angry or not, he always spoke in a calm voice. He couldn't tell anything through the bond either, for some reason only known only to Qui-Gon, Obi-wan had been told not to access their bond unless they were in the training rooms sparring or if they were on missions.

From the day that Qui-Gon had taken him as his apprentice on Bandameer. It was quite clear to him that their Master/Padawan pairing was a spur of the moment decision, a decision that was thrust upon Qui-Gon unintentionally by Obi-Wan. All because they'd been trapped in a mine together with explosives ready to go off.

The way out was blocked and Obi-Wan told Qui-Gon to leave him behind and save the miners. Obi-Wan had a detonator strapped to a collar around his neck and he couldn't get it off. So he was going to detonate it and blow a hole in the door and then Qui-Gon and the miners could escape before the explosives went off. Qui-Gon stopped him from killing himself and they found another way out of the mine. It seemed to be the turning point in their relationship and Qui-Gon called him Padawan in the mines and promised to take him as his apprentice.

Qui-Gon was an honest and fair man and he probably felt obligated to reconsider Obi-wan's apprenticeship, probably out of guilt. It turned out to be a regrettable mistake on Qui-Gon's part. Each day Obi-wan realised Qui-Gon was becoming more distant towards him. He'd begged Qui-Gon to accept him so many times and now he wished he'd just stayed in the Agri-Corps.

He was certainly glad that Qui-Gon had rescued him from the mines, after he'd been captured and enslaved. Nevertheless, this was not how he thought his apprenticeship would be. He thought it would be fulfilling and so different from the way it was turning out.

_Force, _he thought _Qui-Gon refused me enough times. I should've given up._"_Why did I accept? I should've seen it in his eyes that he didn't really want me. __The more I think about it, the more I believe he felt sorry for me and that's why he finally took me and now he regrets it. He certainly made it clear enough how he felt about me before I went to Bandameer. He told me I was too angry and that the Agri corps was the best place for me!_

All these thoughts were racing through Obi-Wan's head as he was being called to the middle of the room.

"Yes Master" Obi-Wan said stopping directly in front of his Master.

"Earlier this morning I had to speak to you about your clumsiness, because you broke my vase while you were drying your hair with the towel." Qui-Gon stated.

Obi thought _I wouldn't have broken it had you not made me jump._

_For crying out loud who gets up at 4.30 in the morning, I was still half asleep when you dropped my books on the table making me bump the table and knock the vase over. _

_You said that you tripped over my books that I'd left on the floor in my room. How could you trip over them? You never go in my room; you just stand at the door. Anyone would think I have a disease or something._

He brought his thoughts back to the conversation and answered "Yes Master I'm sorry that I broke your vase I didn't mean it."

Qui-Gon studied Obi-Wan for a moment and thought _I suppose I did make him jump__._

"Yes you've apologised Obi-Wan so we'll forget about that. Now, did I ask you to keep the noise down while Bant was here?"

"Yes Master"

"Then why is it that while I was trying to… meditate, you had to make so much noise". Qui-Gon said.

"I am sorry Master but Bant was excited and I was happy for her and I didn't realise you were meditating."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment and thought.

_What's wrong with me, I just lied to my apprentice, he's right I wasn't meditating at all. I was staring out the window. Nevertheless, I won't allow him to back answer me or be disrespectful. I let Xani do that and look what happened to him._

"Obi-Wan I'm trying to be patient with you, but I don't think you understand that being a Jedi is a very serious commitment and sometimes it appears that you're not as committed as you should be. I brought you back from Bandameer, because you showed me that you had commitment, but of late you have constantly tried my patience".

That really stung. Obi-Wan felt a pang of dread rise within him.

"I-I am committed Master. I want to be a Jedi. It's all I've ever wanted. I couldn't be anything else."

Obi tensed up fearing the worst. Qui-Gon was finally going to dismiss him as his apprentice. He would stand tall, he would take it like a man, he wouldn't beg. Obi-Wan straightened upand waited for the dismissal…...

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

ooo..

"Then I suggest you control your emotions and keep your mind on the here and now." Qui-Gon stated.

"I will Master I promise, it won't happen again,"

"I want you to write an essay on the folly of speaking without thought of another's peace and quiet." Qui-Gon stated.

"Yes Master, When Master?"

"Here and Now" Qui-Gon pointed to his bedroom "and tidy up your room. I'm going out for awhile, but I'll be back shortly and I will expect both jobs to be finished. I expect you to be here when I return Padawan. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Master" Obi-Wan acknowledged as his Master walked out the door.

"_Well I can forget lunch with Bant. I don't know how long he'll be and I can't risk not being here when he returns. I thought for sure he was going to send me packing this time, I just don't understand it, why did he take me as his apprentice in the first place?"_

Obi-Wan put all his faults down on paper and apologised for his lack of commitment. He finished the essay in good time and he folded it and placed it on the table so Qui-Gon could see it as soon as he arrived back. He liked writing and he felt he could explain himself better on paper. He'd written several essays over the past three months at his Masters request. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan was perplexed that his Master never discussed them with him. He wondered if Qui-Gon even read them, he was beginning to doubt it.

Lunchtime came and went. Obi-Wan made a sandwich but then he found that he no longer had an appetite. Next, he tidied his bedroom and hung his robe in the closet. He'd done everything he could possibly think of to make his master happy. There was nothing left to do except wait. He thought of studying, but he didn't think he could concentrate. Therefore, he sat on the chair that looked out over Coruscant. The one his master sat at all the time.

"What is so interesting out there Master?" he said gazing out. It puzzled Obi-Wan as there was nothing to see just other buildings and aircraft whizzing past. He sighed and leaned over putting his arms on the window sill……

_~*~ memory sequence~*~_

_He let his mind wander to the first time he'd met Qui-Gon. It was at a Tournament and Qui-Gon was sitting with Master Yoda. Obi-Wan was competing in the junior trials. He was only ten and still had time before he would be chosen._

_Master Yoda called him over. "Initiate Kenobi, say hello to Master Jinn. Instructing your class in sabre techniques he will be next term."_

"_Hello Master Jinn, I look forward to your lessons. What form will you be teaching us?"_

"_I am a master at Ataru young initiate, it has served me well and I believe you could benefit from the form as well. You seem to be confused about which one you should use. You keep changing forms in mid duel and your footwork needs working on too."_

"_Thank you Master Jinn, I would appreciate some pointers. I look forward to learning from you." He bowed and walked away. However, he overheard Master Yoda speak to Master Jinn._

"_A good apprentice, Obi-Wan will be. Consider him you should when choosing another apprentice, Qui-Gon."_

"_Master Yoda I have an apprentice and when he is Knighted, I would like to work with him. Xanatos and I are a great team. Besides he is too young."_

"_Yes-yes, too young he is yet. Speaking of the future I am!" Yoda said as Obi-Wan got out of earshot. _

_Obi-Wan had Qui-Gon for a teacher for only a few months and then he seemed to disappear. It wasn't until a year later that he saw Qui-Gon sitting on a bench in the garden. He sensed an immense amount of grief pouring from Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan felt very sad and nearly went over to him to see if he could be of assistance to him in any way. But he was stopped by Master Yoda who said_

"_Your concern for Master Jinn serves you well young one, but now is not the time to disturb him. It is a time for solitude and reflection."_

"_But Master, I sense he is grieving and I wanted to make him feel better. Is it true his apprentice left him and left the Jedi order?" Obi-Wan asked._

"_True it is. hard time it is for Master Jinn. One day in the future my young friend you'll be able to help him, but not today." _

_Obi-Wan was confused. "I don't understand what you mean Master, 'in the future?"_

"_How old are you young Obi-Wan?" Yoda asked._

"_I'm Eleven, Master." _

"_Then too young for you too worry about the future. Ask me again when twelve you are," he _

_said._

"_Twelve, that's when I'll be chosen as an apprentice won't it Master?" he puffed out his chest excitedly._

"_Yes, young one, you'll be apprenticed to a fine Jedi." _

_In Obi-Wan's twelfth year, his anxiety levels increased because no one had asked him and yet whenever he saw Qui-Gon, he'd feel the force whispering to him that he was Obi-Wan's chance for Knighthood. A tingling sensation would form in his mind and unknown to him it was a bond forming between him and Qui-Gon. The first sensation had been comforting, but each time he saw Qui-Gon the more it would turn to pain._

_Obi-Wan didn't know that Qui-Gon had sensed the bond forming and that he had no intention of being attached to another padawan. Therefore, each time he drew near the boy he would slam up his shields, closing the fledgling connection forming between them._

_As the months drew closer to his thirteenth birthday he realised Qui-Gon was his last hope. Nevertheless, that hope turned to despair, when he was rejected and sent to Bandomeer four weeks before his birthday. However, he didn't know that there was a computer error and his date of birth and other details in the computer had been transferred incorrectly. He'd been sent to Bandomeer by mistake. When Yoda and the Council realised the error, they decided to wait just in case Qui-Gon changed his mind and accepted Obi-Wan as his apprentice. If Qui-Gon didn't, they were going to recall Obi-Wan and assign him another Master, they had no intentions of letting Obi-Wan go because they knew he was meant to be a Jedi._

_The problem with that was, no one ever told Obi-Wan of the mistake, because Qui-Gon 'had' accepted him so it wasn't deemed important._

_Nevertheless, it was important to Obi-Wan's mental well being. If they'd told him he might have had more confidence in his place at the Temple. Obi-Wan was under the impression that the Council had forced Qui-Gon to take him or he took him because he felt sorry for him. Either way it made Obi-Wan believe he was a failure._

_Everything seemed all right when they returned to the Temple. Obi-Wan was happy, except when Bruck smirked about Qui-Gon only taking him because he felt sorry for him._

_That hurt._

_Then Xanatos invaded the Temple with Bruck's help and in the ensuing battle, he was forced to kill Bruck in defence to save Bant and another initiate._

_Then they chased Xanatos to Telos where he died and Qui-Gon took his death hard. He wasn't the same when they came back to the temple. He was moody and distant._

_~end of memory~ _

_ooo_

The sun warmed Obi-Wan and yet sitting there he didn't feel warm, he felt a chill surround him. He yawned; he'd been staring out of the window all afternoon. Qui-Gon hadn't returned and it was time to prepare the evening meal. He pulled ingredients out of the cupboard and a couple of pots. He looked over to the door and said. "What's the use of making a meal, he probably won't eat it. Every time I cook him something, I find it in the bin in the morning."

Obi-Wan didn't want to eat so he put Qui-Gon's in the cooler and went to bed. His thoughts centred around how lonely and lost he felt….

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

_Thoughts in italics._

_ooo_

Qui-Gon went to see his friend Tahl; he hoped she could sort out his feelings where Xanatos and Obi-Wan were concerned. He knew he was been hard on Obi-Wan, but every time he tried to see him as an individual, Obi-Wan would do something to remind Qui-Gon of his former apprentice. Little things would stir memories of Xanatos. The way the boy would swing his sabre, or balance on the beams, or the way he would laugh would remind Qui-Gon that even a happy smiling padawan could be hiding deceit behind that façade.

"Qui-Gon I'm surprised that you would even compare Obi-Wan to that horror you once called an apprentice." Tahl snapped when Qui-Gon told her his sad tale. "The only thing they had in common was the colour of their sabres and as far as any similarities when balancing on the beams go, all padawan's had the same instructor. Master Winslow has been teaching the same techniques on the beams for twenty years. My stars Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan's smile would light up a dark room, whereas your former apprentice would draw the darkness around him like a cloak and his smile was more of a smirk," she argued.

Qui-Gon was going to object, but Tahl cut him off.

"My friend, you know I speak the truth. Your former apprentice was a bad seed, you knew how I felt about him and others could see it too. I'm sure you'd have seen it as well had you listened to the force and focused on what it was trying to tell you. Sometimes I think you knew, but you didn't want to believe it could happen to you. Now it appears you're heading down that path again. Are you going to make Obi-Wan pay for Xanatos mistakes?" she asked.

"No I'm not making Obi-Wan pay for anything. I just want to make sure he stays on the right path."

"Qui-Gon you must let the memory of Xanatos go and accept that he was never going to be a Jedi. You're not the only Master to lose an apprentice and I doubt if you'll be the last. It's a hard path to follow and it takes willpower, determination and something else he didn't have; the capacity to be selfless, honest and faithful, qualities that Obi-Wan possess. Your new apprentice is full of light and you should get to know him better, open up to him!" She berated.

Qui-Gon knew she was right but he couldn't clear his head and he hadn't been able to put the past behind him. He needed to meditate and open himself completely to the Force and work through his feelings. He left her apartment quite late and was feeling much better after his visit with her. He had a new outlook on life and he was determined to correct his mistakes with Obi-Wan. He would confide in the boy and ask Obi-Wan to meditate with him. Together they would banish the past. Qui-Gon realised his first duty was to forge an unbreakable bond with his new padawan. He would go back to their apartment and apologise and then he would begin building a good relationship with Obi-Wan.

ooo

He was feeling invigorated and his steps were light as he walked around the corner and bumped into Mace Windu who was returning from a Council meeting.

"Hello Qui-Gon, my friend. What are you doing out so late?"

"Hello Mace, I was visiting with Tahl."

"Where is your Padawan? I hope he's not out wandering the halls too."

"No my Padawan is at home, probably asleep now."

"Good because I just chastised several Padawan's for lurking around the Halls," Mace confirmed.

"Oh really Mace, what were they doing?"

"They said they'd been to the Library, but my senses tell me otherwise. I am going to speak to their Masters in the morning."

"Well I can assure you my Padawan was not with them. I grounded him today for--" Qui hesitated and then quietly said "disobedience".

"Obi-Wan - disobedient – never! I think you're too hard on him my friend, ease up on the boy a bit before you regret it," Mace said shaking his head.

"Yes that's what Tahl said too. I know I've been too harsh with him and I'm heading home now to apologise to him.

"Good, Qui-Gon, then I won't keep you."

ooo

One of the Padawan's who'd been caught by Mace was just around the corner and heard the Masters conversation. He was a former friend of Bruck Chun another initiate who disliked Obi-Wan and was quite distraught when Qui-Gon accepted Obi-Wan as his apprentice. Bruck had turned to the dark side and joined Qui-Gon's former Apprentice Xanatos in trying to destroy the temple. Padawan Keifer blamed Obi-Wan for Bruck's demise. He thought he would say something to get Obi-Wan into trouble, so he waited until he heard Qui-Gon coming around the corner and he crashed into him.

"Oh I'm sorry Master Jinn; I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Yes, I can see that. You shouldn't run in the halls, Padawan Keifer." Qui-Gon said as he stepped around the boy.

"Yes Master, Oh, by the way Master Jinn, please don't be mad at Obi-Wan for being late home this evening. He was helping me find a book. Well I must hurry, my master is expecting me."

Qui-Gon felt his ire surfacing as he watched padawan Keifer walk away, his thoughts turned to Obi-Wan. _What am I to do with you Padawan? I don't want to believe that you disobeyed me!_

_ooo_

Qui-Gon entered the apartment and felt a pang of guilt run through his body. The silence overwhelmed him and to add to his guilt there was a note on the table next to the finished essay, telling Qui-Gon that his meal was in the icebox ready to be heated. For a moment, he refused to believe that Obi-Wan had disobeyed him. However, as he took the tray of food out of the cooler, Keifer's words kept pushing their way into his head.

"No, I won't believe that Obi-Wan disobeyed me, but then why would Padawan Keifer say such a thing if it wasn't true?" he said quietly to himself.

He opened the door to Obi-Wan's room using the Force so he wouldn't wake him. The boy looked like he'd been asleep for sometime. The sheets were tangled around his legs as though he'd been tossing and turning. Qui-Gon contemplated waking him up to ask him if he had gone out, but then had second thoughts about it. He quietly closed the door, took Obi-Wan's essay, and put it in the draw next to his bed. He would read it later, but right now, he felt like meditating. Qui-Gon settled on his bed and slipped into a light meditation, trying to sort out his feelings where Obi-Wan was concerned.

Obi-Wan woke with a start, his bed sheets were on the floor and he felt like he hadn't slept. His head ached and he had a stomach ache. He hadn't eaten all day yesterday and now his stomach was telling him so. It was late and the sun was already up. He glanced at his clock and surprise ran through him when he noticed how late it was. For a moment, he wondered if Qui-Gon had even come home the night before. However, a noise coming from the kitchen told him otherwise. Worry filled him, why didn't Qui-Gon wake him up at 4.30 like he always did. He felt sick thinking that it was a test, perhaps his master was tired of dragging him out of bed every morning and wanted Obi-Wan to get up by himself. He'd failed and now his Master would berate him for his lack of commitment. He really wanted to get dressed first but he didn't want to keep Qui-Gon waiting. He opened the door and put a smile on his face.

"Good morning Master." he said knowing there wasn't anything good about it.

"Good morning Padawan, I allowed you to sleep in today as I have something I wish to discuss with you and I wanted you rested, so you can answer my questions with a clear head."

He could sense the coldness in his Masters voice. _That's very generous of you Master, but what have I done now?_ He thought.

"Padawan when I left here yesterday, I specifically told you to remain in our apartment, didn't I?"

"Yes Master you did and I didn't leave the apartment all day." Obi-Wan said looking around for the essay, he'd written. "I wrote the essay as you requested and I left it on the table, together with a note about your meal," he said as he pointed to the empty table.

"Yes I have the essay Padawan I'll read it later. What else did you do?"

"I cleaned up my room and I made dinner. I left yours in the cooler Master."

"Yes, I saw it when I got home. What else did you do?"

"I did the extra duties you gave me and when I finished I did nothing Master. I sat over there for a while and watched the traffic," he said pointing to the window, "and then I went to bed."

He felt so tense and could see Qui-Gon's eyes boring into him. It made him feel so uncomfortable.

"Master? Did I do something wrong?"

"I certainly hope not Padawan. Nevertheless, on my way back here last night, I bumped into Padawan Keifer; he said you were with him at the library yesterday, were you?"

"No Master, I wasn't. I didn't leave the apartment and I certainly didn't go to the library with Padawan Keifer. He and I are not friends and with all due respect Master, if he said I was with him then he is lying."

He waited for his master to say something and when he didn't, Obi-Wan started to feel ill. "I'm telling the truth Master, I never left the apartment."

Qui-Gon didn't know what to think his mind kept remembering the times that his former padawan had lied to him and sneaked out to be with his friends and because Qui-Gon was upset, he didn't open himself up to the force like he should do. If he had, he'd have sensed that Obi-Wan was telling the truth.

"Obi-Wan, I want to believe you, but why would he say that you were with him if you weren't?"

"I don't know Master, maybe he wants to get me into trouble."

"Do you really think that Padawan Keifer would go out of his way to deliberately lie to me?"

"Master please, I only know that I'm not lying to you."

"I don't know what to think Padawan, I don't want to believe that you would lie to me?" he said glancing at the clock. "It is getting late you better have something to eat and then go and get ready for your classes. Your astrophysics exam is this morning isn't it?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Yes Master and then I have lessons in navigation map plotting and Communication studies."

"I need to think about this Padawan and I would like to speak to you about this however, you don't have time now. Therefore, we'll talk about this after your classes; I want you to come straight home after your last study session."

"But Master!"

"No buts Padawan, do not try my patience."

Obi-Wan tried to calm his racing heart. "Master I don't mean to be disrespectful, but Master Jolenar wants' to see me after last study session. I have an appointment with him."

"Fine, but see that you do not dawdle. I'll expect you home straight after your appointment."

"Yes Master" Obi-Wan said as he lowered his eyes to the table, depression was setting in and he didn't feel like eating breakfast now. Therefore, he excused himself and went to dress ready for class.

ooo

The Astrophysics exam was first on the agenda and Obi-Wan answered all the questions correctly. After the test was over, Obi-Wan went to his next class.

His Astrophysics teacher Master Sen-Kol took the test papers to Master Jolenar. Unbeknown to Obi-Wan, he'd topped his age mates in three other subject exams and Master Sen-Kol had expected Obi-Wan to do well in Astrophysics. If they were right and Obi-Wan had indeed placed first in Astrophysics, it meant that he'd gained first place in four of the hardest subjects. Master Jolenar checked Obi-Wan-Wan's answers with Master Sen-Kol and they were thrilled when they realised the boy hadn't made any mistakes.

Master Jolenar was impressed with Obi-Wan's results and wanted to congratulate him personally before the results were made public to the Council.

"Come in Obi-Wan," Master Jolenar said as Obi-Wan knocked on the open door. "Do sit down young man; I have some very good news for you."

"Good news, Master Jolenar? I don't understand?"

"The results are in on your first term exams, you have excelled in four of the hardest subjects and I wanted to personally congratulate you on a fine effort."

Obi-Wan was stunned and speechless. He hadn't expected to do so well, in fact he hadn't thought about his study sessions much at all.

"A-are you sure Master?"

"Yes Obi-Wan, Master Sen-Kol brought your last exam papers to me today and I checked them. This is a first place card and I'm giving it to you now so you can show your Master. I will be making the announcement at the assembly in two days. You have done extremely well placing first and you have earned the recognition. I'm very proud of your achievements and I would imagine that your Master will be very pleased. I thought you might want to tell him the good news yourself and I will inform the Council Tomorrow."

Obi-Wan felt a mixture of happiness and sadness all rolled into one big headache. He was very happy that he'd done so well. Nevertheless, the last few days were telling on his nerves and he wondered if anything he did would make his Master Happy. _Maybe now Master will see me as a worthy apprentice. _

"Thank you Master Jolenar, I will tell him right now and I'm sure he will be very happy."

ooo

Obi-Wan raced home as quickly as he could he was happy, but that wasn't the reason he was in a hurry. He didn't want to anger his Master any more than necessary and he knew that Qui-Gon expected him home at least half an hour ago and he was late. Master Jolenar had been so excited he'd kept Obi-Wan talking.

Obi-Wan opened the door hesitantly and saw his Master pacing the floor. His master whirled around when Obi-Wan closed the door.

Obi-Wan started to apologise "I'm sorr…" But Qui-Gon held up his hand to his Padawan's mouth.

"You've disobeyed me again and I don't want to hear another apology from your mouth. Do you understand?"

Obi-Wan could see Qui-Gon's hand trembling with rage. Obi-Wan's excitement and joy at his results faded into the background. He simply nodded his head and whispered." Yes Master."

"Go to your room and stay there until I decide what to do." He snapped.

Obi-Wan lowered his head, tears were threatening to burst forth, but he held them back and he turned towards his room. He quickly entered his room and closed the door, still holding the achievement card in his hand. No sooner had he sat down on the bed did the tears begin to fall. Once again he'd failed his master. He just didn't understand why Qui-Gon even bothered with him. He glanced across the room at his desk and there on top was his journal.

He sat down at the desk and opened the Journal. He'd bought it to write down his adventures as an apprentice. He'd hoped to journalise all his training and then one day pass it on to his own Padawan. Nevertheless, there was nothing in it about training only about his failures and his miserable existence.

The first few pages were filled with his guilt over Bruck's death, it had affected him badly knowing that he'd killed an age mate. Even though he was blameless and had no choice. Bruck was Xanatos apprentice and came with Xanatos to kill Qui-Gon and blow up the temple. Obi-Wan had been chasing Bruck through the temple trying to disarm him, but a little initiate got in Bruck's way. He screamed at her because he was angry and she started crying. Bant tried to protect her, but Bruck charged at them both. Luckily, Bant pushed him with the Force and he stumbled. He got up screaming and lunged at Bant who was holding the little girl.

The blade would have gone through Bant and the little girl except that Obi-Wan rushed up and Force pushed him away from them. Obi-Wan was helping Bant up off the ground when she screamed out "look out"

Obi-Wan ignited his sabre and turned around just as Bruck charged him with his sabre drawn. Obi-Wan didn't realise how close Bruck was and his blade went through Bruck's neck, killing him instantly.

After the incident Qui-Gon was supposed to take Obi-Wan to a mind healer, to be certain he didn't feel guilty over Bruck's death. However, Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan with him to Telos to capture Xanatos, and in the ensuing battle, Xanatos also died.

When they returned to the temple Qui-Gon allowed Obi-Wan to see the mind healers once. Then he told the healer that Obi-Wan was handling Bruck's death and that he would help his Padawan release his anxiety if need be. However, Qui-Gon hardly spoke to Obi-Wan, let alone meditate with him. Therefore, Obi-Wan wrote his feelings in the journal, it seemed to help him a bit writing about it.

Obi-Wan hoped that soon things would work out and he could start writing about the good things that might happen to him during the course of his apprenticeship.

But in the short time he'd been writing nothing really good had happened. Now he dreaded the Journal, he hated opening it and he sat there looking at this latest entry. An achievement card, he'd finally done something worthwhile, yet he didn't feel good about it and certainly he didn't feel worthy. _I'm never going to finish this Journal and I'm never going to be a Jedi._

Obi-Wan didn't know how long he sat there for, but a knock on his door startled him. He slipped the book into his draw and called out. "Come In"

Qui-Gon opened the door but didn't step in. He glanced around and then he smiled at Obi-Wan. "Padawan I'm sorry for raising my voice to you earlier, I was too hasty in my reaction when you came home and I should have given you a chance to explain why you were late.

I'm sure you had a good reason, Padawan. Would you like to explain now?" Qui-Gon said in a compassionate voice.

Obi-Wan didn't want to explain anything he was fed up with all the accusations. He just wanted to be left alone. However, he knew that he couldn't be disrespectful. "It is alright Master. You were right in berating me I was late, and I'm sorry."

"Was there a reason for your lateness my Padawan?" he asked kindly.

Obi-Wan sensed that Qui-Gon was trying very hard not to judge him. "Yes Master, as I explained this morning, I had an appointment with Master Jolenar and he wanted to tell me how I did in my exams. He was very happy and we talked for quite a while. That is why I was late. I am sorry Master."

"Well then Padawan what were the results of your exams? Did you pass?" Qui-Gon said putting a smile on his face.

Just as Obi-Wan was about to tell him the COM link in the common room started buzzing madly.

"You will have to excuse me a moment Padawan" he said as he strode out to answer the call.

"Jinn, here?"

"Qui-Gon my friend, I'm glad I caught you this is Mace."

"Hello Mace, what can I do for you."

"Well I know you and Obi-Wan haven't been sparing lately and there's a friendly sparing contest going on down here in the main arena. I would like you two to come down and join us and I wont take no for an answer. I will expect you two here in five minutes." Mace out.

Qui-Gon put the unit down and thought _Ummm he is right and maybe that's just what Obi-Wan and I need, a bit of a work out to loosen us both up."_

"Padawan, we are going to the training arena we've been invited to a sparring match. I think this is just what we need, time to get to know each other properly and release pent up emotions. Let's go and spar and then afterwards we'll meditate and have a long talk."

"Yes Master as you wish." Obi-Wan called back.

Obi-Wan was holding the achievement card ready to show Qui-Gon, but when he heard his Master accept the invitation he put it inside his Journal.

"Hurry and get your workout cloths on, we're expected in five minutes." Qui-Gon called out as he walked towards the front door.

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

ooo.

Obi-Wan did enjoy sparing as it gave him a release for his pent up feelings, but his confidence was fading. Each time he sparred, it would begin fine, his movements flowed with the Force and he kept his concentration in the here and now. Nevertheless, eventually something would trigger a memory of that fateful day when he'd killed for the first time. Whether it was the colour of some ones sabre, or some fleeting word said in jest, it would bring back horrible memories of Bruck taunting him calling him 'a pity case'' a reject from the Agri- corps. Bruck's words convinced him that Master Jinn would never have any respect for him because he was unworthy…

He tried to get the memories out of his mind and concentrate on the current duel.

Now he was sparing with Padawan Karalla, he was an older Padawan and he and his Master had been off planet for over a year. He didn't know anything about the troubles that occurred nearly three months ago. Padawan Karalla didn't even know Bruck or Obi-Wan for that matter.

Unfortunately, for Obi-Wan, Padawan Karalla's hair was the same colour as Bruck's had been and it caused Obi-Wan to lose concentration. He tried to pull the Force around him and get the images of Bruck's white hair out of his head. However, it was no use and he stumbled losing his footing. Padawan Karalla saw the opening and swung his sabre hitting Obi-Wan with a winning touché right on the neck, the same spot where Obi-Wan's blade had gone through Bruck's neck. The match was over and Padawan Karalla disengaged his sabre and clipped it to his belt. He then bent down to give Obi-Wan a hand up.

Obi-Wan had frozen when the sabre touched his neck and his sabre fell from his hands rolling across the floor. His breathing was coming in gasps and Padawan Karalla was standing over him. He felt sick and he realised he'd lost focus and he could see the confusion in Karalla's eyes as the young man held out his hand.

"Padawan Kenobi, are you all right?"

Obi-Wan nodded, swallowed, and lifted his hand towards Karalla. "Yes, thank you Padawan Karalla, I'm all right I just lost concentration that's all."

"You looked like you'd just seen a ghost and you're very pale are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. You fought very well Padawan Karalla."

"Call me Tam," he said smiling.

"Thank you Tam, I'm Obi-Wan."

They were still standing in the middle of the training mat when Master healer Ba'han walked over and handed Obi-Wan his sabre. The healer noticed Obi-Wan's hands shaking as he took his sabre and clipped it to his belt.

"Thank you Master Healer." Obi-Wan said, as Tam moved off to find his Master.

"Obi-Wan you're shaking are you all right?" the healer asked.

Obi-Wan looked down at his hands and could see them shaking and he knew that the healer was worried about him. Healer Ba'han was not only a soul healer but he was an exceptional medical healer as well. He had helped Obi-Wan when the incident happened with Bruck and Obi-Wan liked Master Ba'han he was always pleasant and nice to him. However, he knew how his Master felt about healers and he'd told Obi-Wan not to bother the healer with his problems.

He was just about to say that he was fine when Qui-Gon noticed them standing together and called out.

"Is every thing alright Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked glaring at the healer.

"Yes Master." Obi-Wan said trying to calm himself down.

"Hello Master Jinn," Ba'han greeted him. "I was wondering why Obi-Wan hasn't been coming to sessions? He seems a little on edge and he seemed to lose focus in his match just now?"

Qui-Gon stepped close to the Healer, clearly annoyed at him. It was common knowledge that Qui-Gon hated being anywhere near this Healer in particular, they had many disagreements over the handling of Obi-Wan's care. It was only a year ago that Qui-Gon was told to see the mind Healer himself, when his former apprentice turned away from the light. However, he'd refused to go citing he could handle the situation very well himself. Therefore, when the Healer insisted that Obi-Wan needed counselling over Bruck's death Qui-Gon refused to allow Obi-Wan to be treated by the Healer.

"Obi-Wan is fine, he doesn't need any sessions and if he loses focus it's because he's not concentrating. I am his Master and if he has any problems, I'm perfectly capable of helping him." Qui-Gon snapped.

The healer wouldn't back down and soon they got into a heated argument when the Healer commented that maybe it was Qui-Gon who needed to see a mind healer and inferred that Qui-Gon was not looking after his Padawan's best interests.

"You both need help Qui-Gon can't you see that." The Healer snapped.

Qui-Gon had no patience when it came to speaking with the healer. _Why can't these Healers mind their own business,_ he thought.

Qui-Gon let his temper boil over and before he realised what he was saying, he caused more grief to Obi-Wan.

"My Padawan is strong enough to accept what happened with initiate Chun, if he's not then he shouldn't be a Jedi and I've told you before, there's nothing wrong with me! So please leave us alone." He growled.

ooo

Obi-Wan couldn't help overhear what his Master and the healer were saying, as their voices were quite loud.

_So that's why he said I didn't need the Healers, he thinks I should be able to accept what happened to Bruck, but I can't, I didn't want him to die. Maybe I am weak, maybe they are right, and maybe that's why they sent me to the Agri-Corps. They knew I wasn't good enough._

_They all knew I wasn't worthy to be a Jedi, but Qui-Gon felt sorry for me and made me his apprentice. He accepted me and now he regrets it. Now they don't know what to do with me. __Bruck was right when he said Qui-Gon would never respect me, he doesn't even like me and he's stuck with a weak and worthless Padawan._

The argument was going on around him but he was too absorbed in his own thoughts to notice when several other Masters pushed past him and surrounded the two fighting Masters. He could hear voices and he felt himself shivering. He glanced up towards his Master, but he couldn't see because there were so many Jedi standing around trying to break up the fight.

Tears sprung to his eyes and because he didn't want his Master or anybody seeing him for the weak crybaby that he was, he turned and quickly slipped out of the training arena. Once he reached the corridor, he ran back to their apartment. He couldn't take it anymore. It was distressing to know that he'd caused an argument between two Masters. In his thirteen years at the Temple this was the first time he'd ever heard two Masters raise their voices in anger. Obi-Wan concluded that it was his entire fault, if he'd just stayed on Bandomeer none of this would have happened.

He entered their apartment and looked around. He felt so ashamed that he was the cause of so much disruption. He couldn't stay here any more he had to leave. He wouldn't wait to be dismissed. He felt so miserable and he didn't want anyone to see him in such a state. Qui-Gon didn't want him so he'd make it easy for him. He'd pack his bags and leave before Qui-Gon came home.

Obi-Wan went into his bedroom, he blinked several times because his eyes were filled with tears and he couldn't see clearly. Looking around he realised that he didn't really own anything. The clothes in his cupboard were Jedi clothes and the books he read belonged to the library. He opened the draw and looked at his Journal. He picked it up and cried. There was nothing written in there worth reading.

He felt in his pocket for the rock that Qui-Gon had given him when he first became his Padawan. Obi-Wan took it out, it was such a beautiful rock and when he held it up to the light, it glistened. It was a deep rich cobalt colouring and had veins of pale blue and green running all through and around it. He really loved that rock. Nevertheless, as he looked at it he realised it was not meant for him. It was meant for some one who would be worthy to be Qui-Gon's Padawan. So he put the stone on his desk and stared at it.

_Qui-Gon wouldn't want me to take it, and it is too nice to throw in the bin, but what will Qui-Gon do with it? _Obi-Wan couldn't leave it sitting on the desk, emptiness filled him, and he felt so alone not having it with him. He wondered if Qui-Gon would give it to his next apprentice.

_No!_ He thought, _Qui-Gon didn't want another Padawan he didn't want another failure. _Obi-Wan knew without a doubt that Qui-Gon would never take on another Padawan, so this rock would more than likely remind Qui-Gon of his unworthy Padawan and he would probably throw it in the trash, but Obi-Wan couldn't bear to have that happen to such a beautiful stone….

_I can't leave it here_. So he put it in his pocket and then he picked up the journal. It was a reminder of how much of a failure he was, so he threw it in the waste bin next to his desk.

ooo

Back at the training Hall Master Windu and several other Masters had calmed everyone down. Master Windu was very infuriated that two Masters would put on such a disrespectful display in front of Padawan's and other Knights.

"I'm ashamed of both of you," Master Windu said to both men. "Please come with me, and he pointed to a small training room off the main arena where he questioned both men. By this time Qui-Gon had calmed down and was mortified that he had put on such a display of anger in front of his peers, but most of all in front of his Padawan. He'd blurted out some things that should never have been said, especially to do with Obi-Wan.

Mace listened to each man and he was horrified that they'd argued in front of Obi-Wan.

"Qui-Gon, that boy deserved none of this, you have pushed your guilt and anger on to Obi-Wan and made him feel worthless. I cannot understand how you can be one of the best diplomats and negotiators the Order has and you cannot even treat your own Padawan with the respect he deserves. You dishonour the Code" Mace said, he was fuming as he told Qui-Gon off.

"Qui-Gon, is your Padawan still out there in the arena?"

"I don't know Master Windu, I didn't think about him at the time." Qui-Gon said feeling thoroughly ashamed of him self.

"Well I need to speak with him; he must be devastated by your behaviour."

Mace walked over to the door separating their room from the arena and as he opened it, there was a padawan standing close by. Master Windu called the Padawan over and asked him to go and bring Obi-Wan to him.

Unfortunately, Master Windu just asked the worst padawan he could,- Padawan Kiefer….

ooo

Obi-Wan was ready to go when he heard a knock at the door. He put his bag down behind the door and opened it. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Padawan Keifer standing there with a smirk on his face.

"What do you want?" snapped Obi-Wan

"Oh I don't want anything from you - murderer!" Kiefer said hoping to make Obi-Wan suffer a bit more for killing his friend.

"Master Windu told me to get you and bring you back to the arena. You must be in big trouble if the head of the Council wants to see you and he wasn't happy, let me tell you." Kiefer grinned.

Obi-Wan felt his face flush and he really didn't want to talk to Keifer right now.

"Well are you coming" Kenobi?"

"Tell Master Windu I'll be there directly". He said as calmly as he could and then slammed the door in Kiefer's face.

Kiefer's words haunted him _"Murderer."_

Obi-Wan leaned against the wall, his whole body was shaking. He waited for few minutes and then he reached out with the force and could sense that Kiefer had gone. He opened the door and he checked the corridor to make sure no one was there. He glanced around his now previous life and quietly closed the door on his existence as a Jedi. He gently touched the nameplate that said Jinn/Kenobi and sighed and then he picked up his bag and fled down to the turbo-lift.

When he reached the ground floor, he could hear many voices. He peaked around the corner and several Crèche Masters were coming in with a large group of initiates. The children were chatting about their excursion and so while the Masters were distracted Obi-Wan slipped past them and ducked out the door.

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-Wan felt his whole world crashing down around him and the last place he wanted to be was on Coruscant. He kept walking until he ended up at the spaceport, but unfortunately, he didn't have any credits to buy passage to anywhere. Glancing around he noticed a large transport at the other end of the platform and several men were loading boxes onto a trolley and taking them onto the ship. He waited until they disappeared inside and then he ran up the ramp and followed them to the storage area.

He squeezed behind a row of boxes and waited until the men had completed their task. He had no idea where this transport was going and he didn't care. His only concern was putting as much distance between him and Qui-Gon.

Yawning, Obi-Wan stretched out and used his bag as a pillow, he was tired and then he realised he hadn't eaten anything for nearly two days, he was hungry. His last thought before sleep took him was that he would find something to eat once the ship took off.

ooo

Master Windu was waiting for the Padawan to come back with Obi-Wan. He watched Qui-Gon sitting in the corner with his eyes closed and wondered if the man had any idea what damage he was doing to young Obi-Wan. He'd spoken to Qui-Gon many times trying to make him see that his treatment of Obi-Wan wasn't in the boy's best interests.

Even Master Yoda, who originally had pushed Qui-Gon into taking Obi-Wan as his apprentice, was now having second thoughts. Yoda was on his way down here to speak to Qui-Gon and if he thought it necessary, he would recommend that Obi-Wan be given to another Master to complete his training.

Healer Ba'han had said as much to Mace while they waited.

"I have been a healer for many years and I cannot stand by and watch Qui-Gon destroy that boy. He needs help, Force they both need help. Qui-Gon's past is tearing him apart and he's tearing Obi-Wan apart too. If he won't accept my help then I have no choice in recommending that he not be allowed to train another apprentice."

A knock on the door brought Qui-Gon to his feet in anticipation that it was Obi-Wan. Master Yoda who had arrived just moments before was talking to the healer, both turned to greet Obi-Wan. However, Padawan Keifer entered.

"Padawan, did you find Padawan Kenobi?"

"Yes Master Windu, He went back to his quarters. I told him you wanted to see him, but he slammed the door in my face. I waited for a few moments but he didn't come out so came back here to tell you where he was."

"Padawan do you know why he slammed the door in your face?"

"Uh- No Master Windu, I don't. I told him you wanted to see him that's all."

"You seem uneasy Padawan Keifer, are you certain that is all you said to him?"

Qui-Gon recognised the Padawan, "Padawan Keifer you're the one who said Obi-Wan was with you in the library last night."

"Y-Yes M-master Jinn h-he was with me, we are friends."

"Obi-Wan said that you and he are not friends and that he didn't go to the Library with you!" Qui-Gon stated.

Master Yoda opened up to the Force and sensed it swirling around Keifer in an erratic way. "A friend to Obi-Wan, I think not! Dislike him you do. True this is – Padawan."

Kiefer stuttered…. "I-I…. "umm, he was in the library with me."

"Padawan Keifer, when I spoke to you in the hall last night you did not mention that Padawan Kenobi was with you, as a matter of fact you said you were alone!" Mace said.

"To find the truth, easy enough it is. Check the video recordings for the Library we will!" Yoda stated.

Kiefer forgot about the cameras in the Library and grew more nervous.

Master Windu went to the door and called for Keifer's Master to enter the room, when he did Keifer broke down. "I'm sorry- I lied. He wasn't with me last night. I-I was only joking," he said trying to calm himself.

"More to tell us you have Padawan, time for the truth it is?" Yoda said knowing the boy was hiding something.

Padawan Kiefer couldn't hold back his pain and confusion any longer he'd bottled up his anger over Bruck's death and it was festering into dangerous levels of hatred.

"Bruck was my only friend and I wanted to help him become a padawan like me. He knew his last chance was Master Jinn and he was so distressed when Obi-Wan became his Padawan. I tried to help him get over the pain but he couldn't and then everyone said he'd turned to the dark side. Bruck wanted to be a Jedi so badly and now he's dead. Master Jinn took Obi-Wan as his padawan, but he should've taken Bruck," he screamed, starting to sob.

Padawan Kiefer's Master was shocked that his Padawan had such deep-seated anger in him. His apprentice was in need of some serious sole searching and some sessions with a mind healer.

"Master Windu, if you will allow me I would like to take my Padawan to the healers ward. I was unaware of his feelings towards Padawan Kenobi. I believe he is in need of some help with his anger and I would like to begin immediately.

"Look after your Padawan and help him you should, you are excused." Yoda nodded.

ooo

"I didn't believe him," Qui-Gon whispered. "I didn't believe my own apprentice. I'm such a fool! I should go to our apartment immediately and apologise to him!"

"Not on your own Qui-Gon," Healer Ba'han stated. "I don't think he'll be in any fit state to be alone with you right now."

Qui-Gon knew the healer was right. How could he treat Obi-Wan the way he had. He felt sickened by his own actions.

"Find Obi-Wan now we must." Yoda stated. "To your quarter hurry we should."

The apartment was eerily quiet and although nothing appeared out of place, it felt empty. Qui-Gon rushed into Obi-Wan's bedroom followed by the healer, the bed was made and everything looked, as it should be. However, there was no sign of Obi-Wan. He waited for Mace to come out of the fresher but he could tell by the look on Mace's face that Obi-Wan wasn't in the apartment.

"Where could he be?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Reach out Qui-Gon; sense him through the bond do you?" Yoda asked.

Qui-Gon felt his shame rise, he'd been the one to keep their bond at minimal and he hadn't meditated with his padawan to strengthen the bond at all.

Nevertheless, he stretched out and opened his end; unfortunately, he could not pick up any tremors of a Force pulse between him and Obi-Wan. "I don't sense him at all."

"Qui-Gon should be able to sense him if he was still in the temple, do you think he might have left the building Mace?" Healer Ba'han asked.

"I have put an alert out for young Obi-Wan and several Masters are searching the temple as we speak. If he is still here we should find him."

"Obi-Wan's clothes remain in the cupboard, but found this in the waste bin I did." Yoda said holding up Obi-Wan's journal.

"What is it?" Qui-Gon asked not recognising it.

"A diary it is, the property of Obi-Wan Kenobi." Yoda said as he read the front cover. He handed it to Qui-Gon who opened it and read the first few pages.

"The entries on these pages are in Obi-Wan's writing, but there are no words of joy just words of pain and self loathing. Oh Force, what have I done - I didn't know." He closed the book and handed it to Ba'han.

Ba'han flipped through the pages reading each one. He noticed the handwriting decline in style as the entries continued, by the last entry, Obi-Wan's writing was shaky and very difficult to read. "Qui-Gon it says in here that he wrote essays and gave them to you, what was his writing like?"

Qui-Gon shook his head and felt his body flush with shame. "I didn't read them. I was going to, but… I put them in my draw."

"Will you let me see them Qui-Gon?" Ba'han asked.

Qui-Gon retrieved them and Ba'han glanced at them, shaking his head. "We must find him quickly his state of mind is tenuous at best. He believes he is worthless and doesn't think he deserves to be a Jedi. These entries reveal a very disturbing decline in the boy's self-confidence, and he still blames himself for Initiate Chun's death."

While they waited for word on Obi-Wan's whereabouts, Qui-Gon read each essay. By the time he'd finished he had a disturbing view of what his self- absorbed thinking had done to his very impressionable apprentice.

It was apparent that Qui-Gon's argument with the Healer had finally cracked what sanity Obi-Wan still held onto and now his ability to make rational decisions was gone. Qui-Gon felt like an imbecile losing control as he had and especially causing so much devastation to his padawan.

The Healer made him see that his obsession with Xanatos was destroying him and that it may have destroyed Obi-Wan in the process.

tbc....


	6. Chapter 6

_Thoughts in Italics and the ships name in italics_

_.._

Obi-Wan woke to the sound of loud voices and they startled him. For a moment, he couldn't remember where he was. He drew his knees up to his chest and tried to control his nervous breathing. Luckily, for him, he was hidden by some rather large boxes so whoever was in the room couldn't see him. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind and then he remembered what had happened back at the Temple. He didn't want to be discovered so he kept very quiet and listened.

"Well what are we going to do, we don't have any more plates and I'm not spending the next four days washing dishes!"

Obi-Wan could hear the man clearly and he wanted to see who it was. He quietly peaked through a gap and could see the man talking. He was a tall skinny man, with short curly brown hair. He had on a uniform of some kind; it was a blue shirt and the same colour trousers.

"It's your fault we don't have any clean plates, because we don't have a kitchen hand to wash the dishes anymore. You had to keep picking on him and now he's quit! I told you to leave him alone or you'd end up washing the dishes yourself." The other man said. He was shorter than the first and he had fair hair hanging down to his shoulders. His uniform was the same blue colour.

"Aw, take it easy Cole; I was only having some fun. How was I to know he couldn't take a joke and just quit on us?"

"I warned you, but you wouldn't listen. You're to blame so now you can wash the dishes."

"Nah, not me Cole, I'm not washing the dam dishes. - I know! Do you think we can find some one on the ship who wants a job?"

"Yeah right Tomo, what are you going to say - Hey do you wanner wash dishes for the next four days. I 'm sure every one will jump at the chance! You're such an idiot! Come on; let's get back to the galley."

Obi-Wan watched the two men pick up a couple of boxes and head towards the door. They were still whining about their problem as they left. Obi-Wan realised that he wouldn't survive for long without food and if he got a job then he could eat.

He scrambled out of his hiding place and ran down the corridor after the two men. "Hey wait." he called out.

Tomo and Cole turned around. "Wha-da-yaa want kid." Tomo said.

"I heard you lost your kitchen hand, I can wash dishes for a price!"

"How did you know that? Where did you come from kid? Were you in the cargo hold? Hey Tomo! I think we've got a stowaway here?"

"Look" Obi-Wan said. "I got separated from my family and I got on the wrong transport. By the time I realised it, we'd already taken off. I don't have any credits and I can't contact them until we reach the next port. So I need some credits and you need someone to wash dishes."

Obi-Wan knew it was against the Jedi code to lie, but he was desperate and besides he wasn't a Jedi any more. He could sense the hesitation in the two men and he had to do something to get them to agree.

"But if you don't want me to wash your dishes, then fine, do them yourself." Obi-Wan turned around and started walking off.

"Hey wait kid." Tomo said grabbing Obi-Wan's arm "Ok yah got yah self a job, come with us."

When they got to the galley, Tomo told his boss that Obi-Wan was the son of a friend and he needed a job. The boss didn't care what story they told him he just needed a dishwasher.

"Ok kid, if you don't break them I'll pay you when we get to our destination, get to work, there's the sink."

"Yes Sir," Obi-Wan said thinking that at least he'd have something to keep his mind off his failed life. It was hard work and he washed dishes from daylight to dark. It was a big transport with many passengers and it seemed like people wanted to eat all day. At the end of the day, the boss gave him a meal and even a bed to sleep on.

After four days, Obi-Wan was happy that the transport arrived on the planet Nubia. His hands were waterlogged or it seemed that way from all the dishes he'd washed. He had broken a few plates but the boss said he expected some breakages. He just didn't want them all broken. Obi-Wan was thankful for the credits he received. There wasn't many, but enough to buy a ticket on another transport and maybe a bit left over. He felt a bit better knowing he'd earned his keep and he felt like he'd done something worthwhile. Even Tomo and Cole thanked him and helped him get off the ship.

He wandered around for a while and then he checked the departure boards, but there weren't any transports leaving Nubia for several hours and he didn't want to sit out in the open in case someone recognised him as a Jedi. He still had his Jedi tunic's on and even though he'd tucked his braid into the folds of his robe, he was worried in case anyone saw it. Obi-Wan walked around checking out a few rooms until he came across an empty luggage room down a corridor. He went in and sat behind the door just in case someone came in. That would give him a chance to slip out before they caught him. There was a shaft of light shining in the window from a light outside, so he sat in the light, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them, resting his chin on his knees. Now that he wasn't washing dishes, he had time to think.

Memories of his failed life made him feel worthless again and he tried not to think of the bad times, but there were so many. He shook his head, pushed the bad memories away and took out the rock Qui-Gon had given him. He held it up to the light and wondered how Qui-Gon could give such a beautiful stone to him. He was never worthy to be Qui-Gon's apprentice and he was sure he didn't deserve such a present.

Obi-Wan wondered if Qui-Gon had given this stone to his former apprentice and then took it back when he turned to the dark side. _Maybe I should have left it behind_..._ No, it would've reminded Qui-Gon that he gave it to another failure. _

The day Qui-Gon gave him the rock was the only time he thought Qui-Gon liked him. He'd placed it in Obi-Wan's hand and smiled and then he proceeded to tell Obi-Wan all about it. Qui-Gon had found the rock in a river and he said the stone called to him. He was on his home planet of Regar 1. He'd gone to the river to do some fishing and he felt the Force calling him to walk further up stream. Qui-Gon followed the urging of the Force and after walking some distance, he noticed something shining in the water, being reflected by the sun. He took off his boots and waded out, picking up the stone.

He said that even though it had been in the water the stone was warm to hold and it made him feel good holding it. He said that he hoped I would feel the warmth in the stone and know that it was meant for me.

Obi-Wan rubbed his face and remembered how he felt when Qui-Gon dropped it into his hand. It was the most beautiful stone he'd ever seen. _Qui-Gon said the river was near the settlement of his birth, what was its name._

"Ridge-more, yes that's it." Obi-Wan said aloud.

_The River was called the 'River of Light' and he said he would take me fishing there one day_.

"Hah, that will never happen." He said despondently.

Obi-Wan stayed in the room for several hours until he heard the sounds of transports arriving. It was dark out but he could make out the name of the ship _The Star Wing. _He walked over to the destination board and was surprised that _The Star Wing_ was heading to Regar1.

He wondered if it was a coincidence or had the Force brought Obi-Wan here for a reason. Maybe the Force wanted him to return the rock to the river. He went to the ticket lounge and checked the price for the trip to Regar 1; he had enough credits for a one-way journey, with a few credits left over. Just enough to send a package back to the temple. Obi-Wan thought long and hard on the items, he was sending back and he wrapped them in his robe. Then he found a cardboard box and put everything in it.

He took the package to the postal office, which was next to the ticket lounge and paid the fee. He addressed it to The Jedi Temple Coruscant. The woman behind the counter wrapped the box with string and stamped it paid.

"Excuse me could you tell me how long before it gets to Coruscant?"

She smiled at him and said." It will be there in four days, the mail goes out on that transport over there".

Obi-Wan turned around to see the ship that had brought him here. It was preparing to load up for the return journey. He thanked the woman and then boarded the _Star Wing_ for the day trip to Regar1.

Obi-Wan wandered down the halls of the ship he was amazed at the size of it. There was carpet on the floor and pictures hung on the walls. It was a sleek cruiser and the couches and seat were all covered in velvet cloth and had cushions to put behind your head. Obi-Wan smiled thinking that this time he actually had a ticket so he sat down on a couch in the viewing lounge and stared out the view screen. He closed his eyes and tried to picture the River of light.

From Qui-Gon's description it was quite a beautiful river meandering down the valley past the settlement of Ridge-more. The townsfolk had dug a channel and the water flowed down the valley into a reservoir, which supplied them with fresh drinking water.

Qui-Gon said that on each side of the river were big oak trees, and over time because of the abundance of water and minerals in the ground the majestic Oak trees had grown to be the tallest trees near the river.

_I would like to see one of those trees._ Obi-Wan thought.

He took the rock out again and held it in his hand, it was warm to touch and he felt sad knowing that he could never keep it. He'd made the decision to return the rock to its rightful owner –the river.

tbc...


	7. Chapter 7

ooo

Jedi from the Temple were busy searching for Obi-Wan. He'd been missing for nine days and it appeared that he wasn't on Coruscant. As each search team reported to Master Yoda, Qui-Gon was there to listen to their report. Checks were made at the spaceport however; no one had seen him board any ships. Qui-Gon felt his guilt rise after each team returned without Obi-Wan. He'd asked if he could go out to search, but Master Yoda refused to let him. Qui-Gon couldn't get Yoda to change his mind and he knew the small master was very disappointed in him. He was disappointed in himself too. He knew that his past with his previous apprentice had caused him to doubt Obi-Wan. He knew he had to change his ways and so he decided to see the soul healer and he took Obi-Wan's diary with him to his sessions.

At first, he felt awkward going to Healer Ba'han, especially after their fight in the arena, which was the last straw for Obi-Wan. However, after the initial session he realised that the healer only wanted what was best for both of them.

Qui-Gon sat in the healer's room waiting for him. He'd been to five sessions since Obi-Wan left and they had been discussing Obi-Wan's diary. Qui-Gon could see now that Obi-Wan's decline in health had been entirely his fault. The first few pages of the diary showed Obi-Wan's excitement in being an apprentice and it showed in his writing. It was neat and the boy described his training sessions step for step. Qui-Gon hadn't realised how committed Obi-Wan was about learning each kata. There were diagrams of the steps and notations at the bottom of each diagram. One page was taken up by a drawing of the stone that Qui-Gon had given him. His description of the naming day present was larger than life. Qui-Gon hadn't realised how much that one present had meant to his Padawan. He'd used charcoal to colour it and then he'd added blue and green markings to it. It practically glowed on the page.

Ba'han told Qui-Gon that he believed Obi-Wan idolised him and that the stone was more than just a naming day present. To Obi-Wan, it was Qui-Gon's acceptance of him. Qui-Gon shook his head. He was such a fool, Obi-Wan had given him a new lease on life and he'd shattered it by living in the past. His musings were interrupted when the healer walked in the door.

"Qui-Gon, I'm sorry I'm late my last appointment took longer than I thought. How are you today?"

"I feel lost and annoyed with my self. I was just going through his diary again. I feel so angry with myself for letting this happen. For not even seeing what I was doing to him."

"You must let your anger go, Qui-Gon. When we find him he is going to need support and if you want to remain as his Master then you must put your guilt behind you, if you are determined to continue as his Master."

"I know Master Yoda has reservations about me continuing to train him now. However, in the beginning he pushed me into taking him. I didn't think I was ready, but the Force and Yoda wanted to show me how wrong I was. I remember the first time I saw him I felt the Force telling me that our partnership was right and I felt the niggling of a bond between us and it scared me. Therefore, I fought Yoda and I ignored the Force. I didn't want to be the cause of another youngling turning to the darkness. Nevertheless, deep in my soul, I did want him, but I buried any feelings I had for him in case I failed him.

I can't believe how selfish I was. I just want to hold him and tell him that he is worthy to be a Jedi and if he doesn't want to continue with me as his Master I will accept that, but I will not give up without a fight. I'll do everything I can to help him get past this. He deserves to be a Jedi."

"I am pleased to hear you say that Qui-Gon, it proves to me that you are prepared to do what is best for Obi-Wan." Ba'han said.

"After the way I've treated him I just hope he still wants to be a Jedi."

"Yes, well we have to find him first." the healer commented as a knock sounded on his door.

ooo

"Master Yoda, Master Windu, is something wrong?" Healer Ba'han asked.

"Heard from Obi-Wan we have," Master Yoda announced, as they walked in carrying a cardboard box.

Qui-Gon felt a chill run up his spine. "Where is he, have you found him is he alright?" he asked sensing the other masters worry.

"Found him we have not, sent us this he did." Yoda said as he pointed to the box he'd put on the table.

Qui-Gon felt uneasy about the box and he hesitated to open it. Therefore, Mace opened it and inside was a note and a robe. He handed the note to Qui-Gon. He opened the parchment and felt the knot in his stomach tighten. It was in Obi-Wan's handwriting.

_Dear Jedi Masters,_

_I apologise sincerely for the trouble I have caused the Jedi. I didn't want to keep these things because they don't belong to me. Please find enclosed my Light sabre, my utility belt and my robe. I realise they cannot be mine now that I'm not a Jedi anymore. I have also enclosed my Padawan braid, I was going to keep it but I didn't think Master Jinn would want me too. He didn't think I'd ever be good enough to be an apprentice and he's right._

_I understand now why the Council decided to send me to Bandomeer and I'm sorry that I didn't obey the Council when I begged Master Jinn to take me as his apprentice. I just didn't want to believe that it was my unworthiness, which saw me sent away before my thirteenth birthday._

_I'd always hoped that it was a mistake when I was sent to the Agri-corps. I didn't want to believe I was a failure, but it's true and I accept that fact now. Master Jinn was right when he said I was not meant to be his apprentice, I just didn't want to listen. _

_I wish to release Master Jinn from any vows that he'd made in regards to training me. I won't be coming back so he doesn't have to worry about being my Master anymore. There is no place in the Jedi order for people that are afraid and I was too afraid of failing and my fear killed Bruck, he didn't deserve to die, he had friends who miss him terribly. They said he would've made a better Jedi than me and maybe if he'd been chosen he might have been. _

_Master Jinn said I should be able to accept his death and move on, but his death weighs heavy on my heart and I am sorry I couldn't save him. I felt unworthy of my place there when I listened to other Padawan's talk about the bonds they shared with their Masters and how they did things together and some even said their Masters cared for them and worried about them. Master Jinn didn't want a bond with me and no one else wanted me either._

_I thought if I was perfect like his former apprentice, he might have accepted me so I studied hard and obeyed him, but something was missing and now I know what it was. He didn't like me and he didn't want me. _

_Please tell Master Jolenar that I'm sorry that I wasn't there to receive the award. He seemed so excited that I had passed those subjects. I think I only passed them because I had nothing else to do except study. _

_I don't expect Master Jinn to read this letter, so please tell him that I haven't stolen the stone he gave me for my naming day. I was going to put it in the box and return it to him, but I didn't think he would want it back after giving it to two failed apprentices. You probably think I am stupid talking about a stone, but it was the best present I ever received. Whenever I felt lonely or afraid, I would hold the stone tightly in my hand and it would warm me and make me believe I was worthy._

_However, if I'm wrong and he does want it back I'm sure he'll be able to find it again. _

_So after much thought and because I know I don't deserve such a beautiful thing, I decided to_

_return it to its rightful owner._

_Good-bye _

_Obi-Wan Kenobi._

Qui-Gon shook his head "He came first in those subjects and I didn't even listen to him long enough to acknowledge it. This letter sounds so final, as if he has no future. I had no idea that he was suffering over Bruck's death. I know you tried to tell me Ba'han, but as usual, I wouldn't listen. I must find him. I'll never be able to live with myself if anything happens to him."

Mace grabbed his friend's arm "Qui think, where would he take the stone? Who is its rightful owner?"

Qui-Gon tried to clear his head of the image of distraught Obi-Wan. He looked at Mace, "I found the stone many years ago in a river."

"Where did you find it, which River?"

"I found it in the river of light on my home planet. Regar 1. I was fishing and I saw it glistening in the shallow water. I gave it to Obi-Wan on his thirteenth naming day.

"He's returning it to the River." Healer Ba'han said.

Qui-Gon felt a bit of relief knowing where Obi-Wan was and he wanted to go there himself to bring Obi-Wan home. "Master Yoda, please let me go. I must convince him that I do want him as my apprentice. That rock is his, it was always meant for him."

Yoda sensed the truth in Qui-Gon's words and he wanted to help both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

"Go with us you can, but healer Ba'han will come too."

The Healer nodded his consent and went to pick up some supplies just in case Obi-Wan was in need of assistance.

"If Obi-Wan is on Regar1 then he has been there for at least four days as it takes about five days to get there on a slow transport. I will contact Chancellor Valorum and request the use of one of his fast ships. We could be there in three days." Mace explained as he reached for his com unit.

Soon they were all standing at the spaceport waiting for the Chancellors ship to arrive at the Temple. As the ship touched down Yoda called out to the others "Hurry we must, leave Obi-Wan alone for too long we should not."

ooo

The Star Wing entered the atmosphere of Regar 1 and Obi-Wan felt a feeling of peace come over him. He watched the planet grow from a small round ball into a beautiful green and blue planet. As the ground loomed closer, he could see dark wooded areas and light green fields. The spaceport of the central city was in the middle of the settlement and there were many people wandering around waiting for the ship to land. As it touched down and the ramp hissed open, he could hear the noise of the busy city. Voices all melded into each other and the sound of speeders and small aircraft filled his ears. The planet Ragar1 seemed like a pleasant place, and Obi-Wan sighed. It didn't matter how nice the planet was he only came here to return the stone, not to think about the future.

Obi-Wan walked down the ramp towards the ticket collector. "Excuse me Sir; do you know where Ridgemore is?"

"Ridge-more', I sure do. It's that way, West, about a day in a fast shuttle. The shuttles leave from terminal five over there," the man said pointing.

"How long would it take to walk there?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Walk there! No one walks to Ridge-more, it would take a week or more," the man laughed.

Obi-Wan thanked the man for the information and left him still laughing as he walked towards terminal five. Obi-Wan didn't have any credits left, so he had no choice but to walk. It really didn't matter to him after all he had nothing else to do. On the wall outside the office where the Shuttles arrived was a map of the surrounding settlements and Obi-Wan studied the map to Ridgemore. He noted the mountain ranges and several smaller towns in between the spaceport and his destination, he memorised the route, and then he headed off.

He'd been lucky that he'd had something to eat on The Star Wing so he started to jog. It would be dark in a few hours and he wanted to get over the first mountain range before it got too late. He jogged until he got tired and then he walked for a few miles. The moon was quite bright in the night sky and he easily made his way over the mountain by the early hours of morning. He knew he couldn't just keep going without rest, and he wasn't sure what sort of animals lived on Regar 1, so he climbed up a tree and fell asleep in the branches.

When the sun came up it shone in his eyes waking him up, he felt thirsty and was a bit hungry. He glanced around from his place high in the tree and noticed some bushes that had berries growing on them. He had no idea if they were edible or not.

He picked some of the berries and sat down putting them in his lap and he closed his eyes and stretched out to the Force feeling the currents surround him and wash over him. He didn't sense any disturbance in the Force and after awhile he ate one berry. It tasted good and after a few minutes, he decided that they were safe to eat.

After he'd eaten enough to curb his hunger, he began his trek to Ridgemore once more. Eventually he came across a stream, the water tasted fresh and he drank quite a bit because he was thirsty. He felt relieved and thought that his journey to the River of Light wouldn't be hard at all, if he could continue to find food and water along the way.

However, his relief turned to worry when he heard the sound of thunder in the distance and when he looked up to the sky, the blue was being replaced by dark ominous looking dark clouds. It was going to rain and Obi-Wan didn't have a robe or any clothing that would keep him dry. He felt a spike of fear fill him when a lightning strike flashed a few metres away from him. At first, he thought about climbing up a tree but then he worried that the lightning might strike the tree he was using as a shelter. He scanned the surrounding area and noticed in the distance stood a small hill made of mostly rocks and boulders. He hoped there might be a cave or something there to keep him out of the rain. He ran as fast as he could but the rain soaked him before he found cover for the night and he huddled in the corner of the small cave he'd found. It wasn't a very big cave, but at least it had some protection from the storm. After a few hours, the rain stopped and although Obi-Wan was soaking wet he managed to drift off to sleep.

The next morning his sneezing woke him up, he was catching a cold and his clothes were still wet. He was getting very hungry and wished he could find another berry bush. He looked around but unfortunately, he'd have to settle for just water. There were plenty of rock pools around and they were all full after the downpour.

He was still shivering when he started to walk west again. He felt tired but he started to jog to warm him up and he hoped the sun would come out soon and dry his cloths. However, it started raining again and as he ran, water trickled down his forehead and into his eyes and he didn't notice that the ground in front of him was very soft. His foot slipped on the wet soil and he stumbled, falling down heavily hitting his head on a tree stump. The force of the blow to his head caused him to lose consciousness.

When he regained consciousness, the rain had stopped and the sun was high in the sky. His head hurt and when he felt it, there was a gash and a large lump as well. He staggered to his feet and immediately felt sick. So he sat back down again, held his head, and tried to clear his mind. He was beginning to think that coming to Regar 1 was a bad idea.

After a few minutes he stood up and tried to regain his balance, but his head was throbbing that much that it made him feel nauseous and he promptly brought up the water he'd drank earlier that day. He felt a bit better after that and he started walking again. The sun was drying his clothes and he felt better not being in soggy clothes.

Obi-Wan kept walking through most of the night only stopping for an hour or so to ease the pain in his head. The next day he was still feeling sick and his head and neck ached. He thought about finding somewhere to stay and resting for a few days, but there weren't any towns nearby and besides he didn't have any credits. Several times through the day, he fell asleep when he stopped to rest. He tried to use the Force to heal his wounds; however, because Qui-Gon hadn't taught him anything about Force healing, he couldn't ease the pain.

That night because his head hurt too much to climb, he settled down and huddled in between the protruding roots of a large tree. In the dark, he didn't see an abandoned bee hive lying on the ground and he leant back on it breaking it open. Honey spilled out all over Obi-Wan's back. The sticky feeling on his back made him annoyed and he threw the broken hive away. It rolled down the hill and out of sight.

He wasn't feeling very well and now he was covered in sticky honey, not one of his favourite foods. He settled down and after awhile he drifted off to sleep.

Unfortunately, for Obi-Wan, the smell of honey had attracted a bear that was in the vicinity and because Obi-Wan was in a pain-filled sleep, he hadn't sensed the animal. Nevertheless, the bear smelled the honey and came over to investigate.

Obi-Wan woke to a strange sensation, something was licking him, and he opened his eyes and saw a large tongue protruding from an even larger mouth. Obi-Wan's first instinct was to climb the tree out of harms way, he was startled by the bear and jumped up, reaching for the lowest branch to pull him self up away from the bear. As he pulled away from the animal, the bear reached out to Obi-Wan's shirt, which was covered in honey. Obi-Wan didn't quite make it before the bears razer sharp claws swiped at his shirt. The claws dug into Obi-Wan's shoulder and raked down his back ripping open his skin and the shirt was ripped from his body. All the bear wanted was to have the honey so it picked up the shirt and ran off.

Obi-Wan held back a scream that wanted to escape from his mouth, he didn't know what the bear wanted at first and he didn't want to risk any other animal hearing his screams. He'd never seen an animal like that one in all his life, and he was glad that the beast had preferred his shirt to him. Pain raced through his shoulder and down his back, but he continued to climb higher into the tree, fearing other animals may come around to see what all the commotion was. He could feel blood trickling down his back and now he didn't have a shirt to use to stop the bleeding.

Once he propped himself in the branches, he tore strips off the legs of his pants, and covered the deepest cuts and stopped the bleeding. Finally, after a painful few hours he finally succumbed to sleep.

The fourth morning Obi-Wan woke and everything hurt, his head still ached, he couldn't move his right shoulder or arm and his back was very painful.

With his left arm, he lowered himself down the branches slowly, until he finally reached the ground. He didn't want to stay in the area in case the hairy animal came back, so he made his way through the trees and by noon, he'd reached a rock pond at the base of a rocky hill.

He washed his injuries and cleaned the blood off as best he could and then he wrapped the strips of cloth around the wounds. He'd been travelling for four days now and he felt he couldn't go any further. His injuries were holding him back and his temperature was rising. He wondered how close he was to the River of light and then he started to think about the Temple.

_They probably have the package I sent them by now. I hope they believe me when I said that I didn't mean to cause them so much trouble. I wonder if Master Jinn read my letter! I doubt it; he never read any of my essays why would he read anything of mine? He's most likely happy that I've gone._

tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

ooo

Obi-Wan woke with a start. It was nighttime and he could hear animals howling. He tried to sit up, but pain shot though his back and arms. He glanced around and he realised he'd fallen asleep next to the small water hole where he'd washed his wounds. He was so hot that he crawled into the water and lay down for a moment. The coolness seeped through his body and after a while, he felt much better.

When he woke again, it was daylight and he staggered to his feet and began to walk. It seemed to take all day to walk just a few miles and by the time he reached the top of the hill, he was exhausted.

He was standing in a clearing overlooking a river that snaked its way through the landscape below him. The sun was low in the sky now and Obi-Wan looked along the plateau he was walking along for a way to climb down.

He didn't feel at all well and was worried about falling if he tried to make his way to the bottom. Nevertheless, he knew he needed water and if he stayed up here, he might not be strong enough in the morning to climb down. He glanced down at the river and it was so inviting, so he made the decision to begin his decent to the bottom. He pulled the Force around him and stretched out with his senses. It seemed to him the Force was telling him to move along a bit further before he risked going down.

Soon he came to a place where there was a track and it appeared that animals used it to get down to the water. Slowly he began his descent and it wasn't very long before he reached an outcrop of rocks that jutted out into the river. He climbed over a couple of them and then he slid down between two large boulders. There was water all around him now and he felt it soak into his boots and trousers. The feel of it was cool to his burning body and he sunk down into its depths with just his head poking out. Obi-Wan splashed some water onto his face and then cupped his hands and drank. It felt so good sliding down his parched throat and he revelled in the feeling of it.

It was nearly dark now and Obi-Wan wanted to make sure that he would be safe here for the night. He climb out of the water and surveyed the area. The tracks he'd seen before didn't come near this spot and he thought he'd be safe here till morning, so he lay down on a rock that was hidden under the ledge, just at water level.

Several times through the night, he woke feeling ill and so he slid into the water for a while to cool himself down. It seemed to work and by morning, he felt a bit better.

He had lost count of the days he'd been travelling, but as long as he kept following the river he knew he would eventually reach his destination. The day dragged on and he had to stop every so often to quench his thirst. He knew his shoulder and back was infected and sometimes his eyes were that blurry that he couldn't see where he was going.

Nevertheless, it was his mission to keep going. He had promised in the note that he would return the stone to the River. It may be the last thing he ever did in this life, but he was determined to do it.

By nightfall, he'd climbed another hill. He'd looked for other options, but there was no way to follow the river through the hill, except over the top. Sitting on a rock he looked at the clear night sky and took in the beauty of the stars that filled the galaxy. Strangely, he thought several of the stars were falling out of the sky, because two of them seemed to be coming towards him.

He imagined he was hallucinating until he could hear the sound of engines that accompanied the lights. It was a shuttle, probably heading for Ridge-more. It passed overhead and Obi-Wan wished he were on it because he was ill and so tired. He was mesmerised by the lights and watched them until they faded from view. He sighed as he lay down and closed his eyes.

The days and nights seemed to be blending in to each other and soon he was talking to himself. "Whose idea was it to come here, this is stupid." He held up the stone and swore at it.

"What's the point of taking you back to where Master Jinn found you? He doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about anything."

He felt his anger rise and suddenly he threw the stone. It hit the water and skipped across a few metres, before hitting a large boulder. It bounced off the boulder and headed back towards him. He watched in fascination as the stone disappeared into the water and just as suddenly he realised what he'd done and he cried out "No, I didn't mean it. No, don't go!" He began to cry and he waded out into the water searching for the stone.

"Please Force help me find it? I can't lose it now I promised, I have to find it!"

He felt his whole world crashing down around him and losing the stone was the last straw. He fell to his knees in the water, put his face in his hands, and sobbed. He knelt there for a long time, until the water cleared from his frantic searching earlier. Eventually he ran out of tears and he moved his hands away from his face and directly in front of his knees was the stone.

He began to laugh and he picked it up. "Thank you Force, I don't know what I'd do without you."

He looked down at the stone and said. "Make sure Obi-Wan doesn't throw you away again. You keep an eye on him. He doesn't deserve a nice stone like you. I can't watch him all the time, so be careful. Stay in this pocket and don't come out until we get to where we're going."

He was delirious and he was rambling, and even arguing with him self. He spent some time sitting in the water laughing and then crying. Luckily by sitting in the cold water, it brought his temperature down a bit and eventually he became lucid again.

Night fell and Obi-Wan climbed up onto a flat rock. He was amazed when he turned away from the river and could see lights off in the distance. It was a city and Obi-Wan felt excitement run through him. It had to be Ridge-more; it was only a few miles away. He had made it.

He felt the urge to stand up and continue his journey. _It couldn't be much further, _he thought_._

But he was tired and it was dark and he had no more strength to venture further. Rest, that's what he needed now and in the morning when he felt better he would find the place where he could rest forever.

The rays of the sun broke over the rock where Obi-Wan had fallen asleep, however, he wasn't there. Sometime in the night in his delirium, he had stumbled on, following the river through the trees. He was moving forward at a slow pace, hanging onto trees to keep him on his feet. His body was burning up and no amount of water could cool him down now. He fixed his wandering mind with an image of the place where Qui-Gon found the stone. Two large oak trees like sentries guarding the river. Obi-Wan saw them through blurry eyes and laughed. He didn't believe they were right in front of him.

He stopped and stared at them. "Is that you? You are so beautiful and I've come a long way to see you."

He laughed at the voice. _It sounded like my voice, but trees can't answer questions, so why would I be talking to them._ He was feverish and he laughed at the voice, but soon the laughter turned into sobs and he stumbled losing his balance, crashing heavily to the ground.

His knee hit a rock and pain shot up his leg, he tried to twist away from the pain and landed hard on his elbow sending excruciating pain up his arm. An ear-piercing scream filled the air shattering the peaceful sounds of the gently flowing river and then there was silence. Obi-Wan lay unconscious at the waters edge.

He was dreaming and someone was telling him to get up. He shook his head, but the voice was persistent. "Leave me alone, I want to rest." he mumbled. _You have a job to do, you're almost done. Just return the stone and then you can rest._ He listened to the voice and wondered what it meant. "Stone what stone?" he mumbled.

The fog lifted from his brain and he opened his eyes and saw the big tree towering over him.

"Oh, you're here, I've brought the stone?" He said remembering why he was here and he tried to sit up. The movement re-awakened every nerve ending in his body and they all protested as the agonizing pain rushed through him. He let out another shriek of anguish, but he continued to move until he was half kneeling and with his good arm, he pulled himself up and leant against the tree. Something Qui-Gon had said to him stuck in his mind. _I found the stone at the base of a large half submerged boulder that is shaped like an eagles head_. That particular boulder was in the middle of the river directly in front of him.

He was shaking as he pulled the stone out of his pocket and he threw it as hard as he could. The force of the pitch unbalanced him and he too fell forward and rolled into the river.

Through the haze of fever and pain, he knew he'd achieved his goal and he let the water take him. It was cold and he felt weightlessness come over him as he slowly drifted with the current. He couldn't stop himself from sinking into the water and he didn't care. He closed his eyes and let his mind fill with thoughts of the Force. He would welcome the Force with open arms.

tbc....


	9. Chapter 9

ooo

The Chancellor's craft broke through the atmosphere of Ragar1 and Qui-Gon pointed to the screen showing them the direction to take for the Town of Ridge-more.

As each minute passed and they streaked through the sky towards their destination, Qui-Gon could sense a kaleidoscope of emotions coming from Obi-Wan. It seemed as if the boy's thoughts were disjointed and there was considerable pain radiating through the Force. Abruptly Qui-Gon felt a disturbance in the Force and just as suddenly, he felt icy cold. As though he'd just submerged himself in cold water. He felt Obi-Wan's thoughts drift in and out of consciousness and then a sense of resignation filled him. He could feel Obi-Wan giving up on life.

"No, he called out and he sent a powerful thought through to Obi-Wan, _"Don't give up, you have a life to live."_

Qui-Gon motioned with his hand to the hills to the left of the town. "Keep going towards the hills the river is over there. He's there, he's in the river, and we must hurry. Land as close as you can near that outcrop of trees Mace; we'll wait by the ramp. As soon as you're low enough open it, we don't have much time.

Mace brought the ship down and he practically landed right next to the river. Qui-Gon and the Healer wasted no time and ran towards the river.

"Where is he Qui-Gon? The healer asked.

"There! There he is. They saw Obi-Wan tangled in the branches of a dead tree that was lying in the river. His head was above water and was jammed in the fork of two branches. Qui-Gon silently thanked the Force. There was a heartbeat, very faint but there nevertheless.

He was the first to reach Obi-Wan and was about to lift him up when the Healer shouted "Qui-Gon don't move him, let me check him first."

The healer ran his hands over the boy's body checking for injuries. "He appears to have a fractured skull and his arm and leg are broken, he's burning up with fever. We must lift him very gently no sudden jerks"

Qui-Gon nodded and he slipped one arm underneath Obi-Wan's legs and the other under his shoulders, the Healer supported his head, very carefully, they carried him back to the ship.

Mace saw them coming with Obi-Wan and went back to the medical bay to prepare for their patient. He was thankful that the Chancellors ship had a fully functioning Bacta tank for emergencies.

The healer noticed blood dripping from his back and when Qui-Gon put him down, they turned him onto his side. The sight of deep gashes and the ripped shoulder muscles almost made Qui-Gon blanch. The healer was quick to clean the wounds and luckily, the water had done some of the work. Ba'han stitched up some of the deep slashes and clamped the skin together. After an hour Obi-Wan was ready to be immersed in the bacta, they gently covered his mouth and nose with a breathing mask and lowered him into the tank.

He floated in the tank for two days as they sped through space and Qui-Gon sat close by watching Obi-Wan. On the third day, Healer Ba'han drained the bacta and they removed Obi-Wan and gently placed him on the bed. The Healer wiped the bacta off and checked him over, his injuries were healing and his broken bones were set and healing.

"He'll wake soon Master Yoda and I'm thinking it would be wise for Qui-Gon not to be in the room when he does. After all he ran away from Qui-Gon and seeing him when he wakes up might be too much for him."

"Right you may be, speak to Qui-Gon I will," Yoda said.

Qui-Gon was relieving Mace at the controls of the ship and he sensed Yoda come up behind him.

"Master Yoda has Obi-Wan woken up yet; I would like to speak to him as soon as possible."

"Woken yet he has not, but soon he will. Qui-Gon, believe I do that be there when he wakes you should not be."

"Master Yoda, this is my entire fault, I want to be there. He's my Padawan and I've hurt him badly. I want him to know that I am sorry for how I treated him."

"Time there will be to make amends, but now is not that time. Think of Obi-Wan we must. Rest is what he needs until we reach Coruscant."

Qui-Gon wanted to object, but he knew that Yoda was right. "Will you be with him when he wakes Master?"

"Stay with him until we reach the temple I will, answer his questions and help him as much as I can."

ooo

Light, he felt as if he was floating and the Force was there comforting him. He heard a voice call to him and he stopped to listen. _(No, don't give up; you have a life to live.)_It felt strange to him and he presumed it was the Force speaking to him. He wanted to let go, but abruptly he realised what the words meant. The Force was telling him to live. He listened again, but he couldn't hear anything but his own heart beating. He was confused because he couldn't feel any pain and he knew that at some time he had felt lots of pain. He'd given up fighting and was waiting for the Force to claim him, but now he didn't know what to think. He sensed a presence hovering just outside his perception and he wanted to touch it and hold onto it. The presence was familiar to him and it made him feel safe.

It was hard to open his eyes and when he did, the bright light in the room made him squint. He couldn't see clearly and wondered where he was. Somewhere in the room, he could hear someone calling his name. Blinking a few times he gradually focused on the Healer, he'd seen this healer before and the man was speaking.

"Hello Obi-Wan,"

Obi-Wan wanted to say something, but he felt tired. He glanced to the side and saw Master Yoda.

'Hello young one, good to see you awake."

Obi-Wan was confused, he didn't remember being with Master Yoda.

Finally, he focused on them both and said. 'W-where am I? What happened?"

"On a ship heading for Coruscant, young one, injured you were. Safe now you are."

"I don't remember what happened, did I fall? I think I hit my head."

The healer stepped closer, "Obi-Wan do you know who I am?"

He looked at the healer for a few moments and then he said, "Master Healer Ba'han, yes I remember you. I think you were speaking to me, but I can't remember why?"

"Don't try to think about it, just rest."

Obi-Wan knew he should remember, but he was tired and he couldn't keep his eyes open.

ooo

Healers were waiting at the temple hanger when they arrived and took the sleeping child to the ward. Qui-Gon was concerned that Obi-Wan couldn't remember what happened to him and wanted to know how long it would be before he remembered everything.

"Do you think he has amnesia? "he asked Ba'han.

"I don't think it's amnesia, it more like selective forgetfulness, he remembers me and Yoda and even Mace. He seems confused about what happened to him and I think it best that we don't push him too hard for the time being. I'm not sure how long he was suffering from that high temperature and it might be affecting his memory. I think in a day or so his memory will return to him and that's when you'll have to convince him of your sincerity." Ba'han explained to Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan slept for nearly two days, but when he woke up, he seemed rested and asked the healer if he would tell him what happened to him.

Healer Ba'han spoke to Yoda who agreed it was time to jog his memory. Therefore, Qui-Gon and Yoda waited in the hall while the healer spoke to Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan do you know why you left the temple and went to Ragar1?"

"No… Was I assigned there? Is that where the Agri-corps is?"

"The Agricorps? Why do you think you were assigned to the corps, Obi-Wan?"

'Because initiates that aren't chosen as apprentices are assigned to the Agricorps?"

"Obi-Wan what makes you think you weren't chosen?"

"No Master wanted me and I don't have a Padawan braid, so I must have been sent away," he said calmly.

"Actually, Obi-Wan, you are an apprentice. You were chosen about four months ago. Don't you remember?"

Obi-Wan sensed that he should know that and he felt heat rise through his body. Something wasn't right here and he felt as if he was missing some important information.

"No, that can't be true, if I'm someone's Padawan why haven't they come to see me?"

"Your Master wants to come and see you, but he hurt you and he feels very badly about it. He wants to apologise to you, but he doesn't want to upset you."

"H-he hurt me? How? Obi-Wan said feeling uncomfortable talking about it. "Did he do this to me?"

"No Obi-Wan, he didn't physically hurt you, he just didn't know how to be a good Master to you and he hurt you with words."

Obi-Wan felt a bit of relief at the healer's words, for a moment he thought he'd been beaten by his own Master. "What sort of words."

"Words that he didn't really mean, but they hurt you nevertheless."

Obi-Wan's head was beginning to ache and he rubbed his temples. "Why can't I remember?"

"I think you're blocking the memories because they're too painful for you to think about."

"But I don't remember being chosen, I'm sure I'd remember that! It is all I've ever wanted. You said I left the temple and went to Ragar 1, if I was an apprentice, did I go there with my Master?"

"No Obi-Wan, you went there by yourself. You left the temple after you overheard an argument between your Master and another Master. They were talking about you."

"Did I do something wrong?" he said as flashes of memory crept into his mind.

"No Obi-Wan, you didn't do anything wrong."

Obi-Wan felt confused and he thought about things that he could remember. Bant and Garen. They were his friends. Something about Bant stuck in his mind. She'd come over to study and she was happy about something, but her laughter made Obi-Wan nervous, why?

Some one was angry, he couldn't see his face, but he was annoyed with Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan rested his chin on his knees and hugged his legs with his arms.

Quietly he whispered. "He was angry because Bant made too much noise."

Healer Ba'han inquired, "Who?"

Obi-Wan shook his head and lifted his eyes up to look at the Healer. A flash of the healer speaking to him brought up another memory. "You asked me a question and I was afraid to answer you, because he was watching and he would be angry. Something about…..Bruck, Bruck! He died I remember now…I couldn't do anything right… I dropped my sabre… You were arguing with him… I couldn't take it anymore…. I ran away…. I took a transport, washed dishes… Waited for a ship going to Ragar1... His home planet…Didn't want me…Didn't want the stone… I took it back….Scared, hairy animal hurt me… hit my head… Had to take the stone back to the River…I-I remember now."

Obi-Wan was shaking now and the Healer was trying to pacify him. "It's alright Obi-Wan no one is going to hurt you."

"No, No…Nooooooooo, I shouldn't be here… He doesn't want me…let me go…. he said struggling against the healer.

Ba'han was holding onto Obi-Wan, but out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure come into view, standing in the open doorway was… His Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.

He froze… and the healer looked up surprised that he'd stopped struggling. He realised why when he saw Obi-Wan's eyes wide open in shock looking past him.

"Obi-Wan, your Master isn't here to hurt you. I promise he won't hurt you. Just calm down and listen to me."

Obi-Wan couldn't take his eyes off Qui-Gon, but he did take a few deep breaths and dropped his hands down to the bed. The healer felt Obi-Wan's body loosen from the tenseness that was there a moment ago.

"Your Master knows he's hurt you and caused you considerable pain, we all know it. That's why you ran away because you were in pain. Master Yoda and I want to help you and we will, but you have to calm down. We would like you to listen to what Qui-Gon has to say. If you don't like what he has to say then he'll leave you alone and someone else will train you. Will you do as I ask?"

Obi-Wan glanced to the Healer and then back to Qui-Gon who hadn't moved any closer. Obi-Wan felt slightly calmer when he saw Master Yoda standing next to Qui-Gon. "I-I don't want to be alone with him!"

"Master Yoda and I will stay with you, is that alright?"

"Yes."

tbc...


	10. Chapter 10

There is only one more Chapter left after this one and I thank you all for reviewing so far. I'm sorry if you don't like a lot of mush, because there is plenty in the next two chapters. 

000

Qui-Gon stood transfixed in the doorway. The sound of Obi-Wan's fear filled voice shamed him. He stretched out with his senses and could feel a deep-rooted fear of what he presumed Qui-Gon would say to him. Qui-Gon moved into the room coming up alongside Yoda. In the past his automatic response when he was about to speak was to put his hands inside the sleeves of his robe. However, he'd learnt from his sessions with Ba'han that it would appear to be a superior or unfriendly look to someone in Obi-Wan's fragile condition.

"Obi-Wan, I know you have no reason to believe me, but I'm very sorry for the way I treated you—"he began.

"I don't believe you!" He began brashly cutting Qui-Gon off, but lost his bravado almost immediately lowering his voice to a whisper. "You don't care about me. I was a burden to you. I left so you could be free of me. I heard you arguing with the healer and you said I was weak and not worthy to be an apprentice."

"Obi-Wan you're not a burden to me. I'm the one who was a burden. I treated you badly. It was my own lack of understanding, which caused me to argue with Healer Ba'han. I didn't give you a chance to be my apprentice. I refused to see what a dedicated and valuable addition to the Jedi order you were. You're not weak and you're more worthy to be a Jedi than I am."

"Why didn't you give me a chance?"

"I was afraid."

"That I wasn't worthy?"

"No, that I wasn't worthy to be your teacher."

"I thought you were worthy. When I was competing to be chosen by you in the first place, part of the reason 'was' because I was desperate to be chosen. However, a bigger part was because I wanted to be your apprentice. I'd felt a connection to you and I wanted to be taught by you."

"I know. I felt the same connection, but because of my fear, I hid from the truth. Nevertheless, the truth is Obi-Wan that I always knew we should have been partnered and if you will give me a chance to prove it to you. I would like to begin again with you."

Obi-Wan didn't know what to think. There had been so much turmoil and stress pressed on him since he became an apprentice. He wasn't sure if he could go through that again. He sensed that Qui-Gon was being truthful and honest with him, but that wasn't a guarantee that he wouldn't change back to the way he was before.

"I would like to begin over, but I guess I'm afraid that nothing will change."

Yoda waved his stick. "Understand your hesitation I do. A watchful eye I will keep on both of you. Hit Qui-Gon with my stick if out of line he gets." Obi-Wan smiled at Yoda, because he trusted the old Master.

"Obi-Wan, I've spoken to Qui-Gon and he will be bringing you to healing sessions to help you both get over the past. I'm confident that you'll both benefit deeply from beginning again," the healer said.

"I would like that." Obi-Wan said quietly.

Qui-Gon felt the heaviness lift from his soul, he'd do it right this time and he would strengthen their bond and drive Obi-Wan's fears away. "I would like that too."

"Then leave you to get re-acquainted we will," Yoda said as he and the Healer left the room.

ooo

Qui-Gon felt excited knowing that he'd been given another chance. "Obi-Wan, the first thing I would like to do is strengthen our bond. I have been very foolish and I missed you very much. It is my deepest wish to be your Master and you my Padawan. I do want to guide you to Knighthood and teach you everything I can and in turn you can teach me how to be a better Master."

"Master, what about a padawan braid. I don't have one anymore. I cut it off and sent it back to the temple and my hair is too short to start another one."

"I have it Padawan," Qui-Gon said as he pulled it out of his pocket. "May I re-attach it?"

Obi-Wan felt the Force fill him with hope and certainty and he knew that this time he would be alright. "Yes please Master."

"Master, I took the stone you gave me back to the River. I didn't think you would want me to have it and I was afraid you would throw it away if I left it behind."

"Yes I know you did Obi-Wan and I'm not angry with you, after all it was yours. Tell me Obi-Wan how did you manage to get those deep slash marks in your shoulder and back?"

"I was resting near a tree, and I woke up when this hairy looking animal with sharp claws was licking my back. I'd leant against a beehive that had fallen out of the tree and it broke all over my tunic. When I tried to get away, it grabbed my tunic and ripped it off me."

"They're called Sloth bears Padawan. You were very lucky that there weren't more bears in the vicinity. They are normally nocturnal, but occasionally you'll find one looking for food. They eat eggs, tubers, berries and fruit, but they are excellent climbers and can climb to almost any height to knock a beehive off a tree. Honey is their favourite food."

"I'm glad 'I' wasn't their favourite food because I climbed the tree to get away from him."

"Did you see any other animals on your journey?"

"No Master, I think that hairy Sloth bear was enough!"

"Obi-Wan, why didn't you catch a shuttle to Ridgemore?"

"After I sent the parcel to the Temple and bought a ticket to Ragar1, I ran out of credits and I didn't think about the dangers in the forest so I walked. I think I've learned a lesson in all this though."

"Oh really Padawan, and what might that be?"

"Don't run away."

"I'm very happy you've learned that lesson then."

"Master do you think I will be able to leave the healers soon?"

"I think the healer wants you to stay here for another day or so and then we can go home Padawan. Master Jolenar wants to see you as soon as you're ready; he has a surprise for you."

"Oh, I forgot about the award, is Master Jolenar upset with me because I missed the ceremony?"

"No, he isn't upset he is very happy you've come home as we all are, and I am very proud of your achievements in your exams. You are a credit to the Jedi order and I am lucky that you are my apprentice."

"I think that I'm lucky. All I ever wanted to be was a Jedi and if it wasn't for you I'd still be in the Agri-corps." he said quietly.

"Obi-Wan, I have something to tell you. Master Yoda explained to me that you weren't meant to go to Bandomeer. Some of your details had been entered wrong in the computer, the Docent didn't re-check your date of birth and you were assigned there by mistake. Master Yoda said you were going to be recalled. However, they decided to wait just in case I accepted you and because I did, they never told you that you weren't going to be sent away. Another Knight was going to be found for you."

"They weren't going to send me to the Agri-corps?" he said feeling a sense of relief fill him.

"No, Master Yoda told me that you were too strong in the Force to be anything but a Jedi. I knew you were meant to be my padawan long before the trip to Bandomeer. However, I thought that if I took you I would make you turn. I had no confidence in my own abilities to train a young one to Knighthood. I knew you were different and I knew you were special, and that scared me. From the first time I saw you when you were in the crèche, your aura, was the lightest aura I'd felt since, 'well since I first felt Master Yoda's, his aura is similar to yours. I knew then that you were destined for great things and Master Yoda knew it too. He was always watching you and I'm sure you know he had a soft spot for you. He told me you were his favourite toddler. Nevertheless, at the time, you were too young to be an apprentice and I had my eye on another initiate who was ready… Well we all know that story so I won't bore you with unimportant details. But, I wish I'd listened to Master Yoda, and waited for you to grow into the fine young man you are today."

Tears filled Obi-Wan's eyes, but they were tears of joy and happiness. Obi-Wan leaned forward into Qui-Gon's arms, he could feel warmth and caring flow through the bond, they were reforming.

000

Obi-Wan was so excited when Qui-Gon brought the ceremonial tunics. He was so glad to be leaving the healers and he was excited about receiving the award.

"Obi-Wan I would like to thread this bead into your braid. In recognition of our renewed partnership." He held up a beautiful dark cobalt colour bead with pale blue and green veins running through it.

Obi-Wan was astonished.

"Master, it's just like the stone you gave me," he felt sad because he didn't have it anymore.

"I know you miss the stone Padawan that's why I'm giving you this bead. I hope you like it?"

"I do, thank you Master."

Obi-Wan felt like there were butterflies in his stomach as he entered their apartment after the ceremony. It hadn't been that long since he'd been here but somehow it seemed different However, he couldn't quite grasp what it was that had changed. Before the apartment never felt inviting, because normally he would enter the apartment with fear and trepidation clouding his vision.

Now the whole place was bright and cheery. The couch was new and it was covered in a soft red tartan material. There were big cushions scattered all over it, and on the side tables were ornaments given to Qui-Gon on some of his earlier missions.

"Obi-Wan I think your awards will look good on this wall and there is plenty of room next to them for any future awards you may receive."

Qui-Gon took the awards from Obi-Wan's hands and placed them on the wall. They had pride of place opposite the main door so that when anyone came to visit, they would be the first thing they saw. Next Qui-Gon led him into his bedroom. His bed had a new cover on it and his desk had been moved over to the window.

His room looked so nice, and he looked at his Master and smiled "Thank you Master, it looks wonderful, and then his look changed to one of mischief. "I suppose I better keep it tidy now."

"I would appreciate it Padawan."

"I will try Master."

"Now Padawan you know what Master Yoda says."

"Yes Master I know "There is no try only do or do not."

tbc... _I know very mushy but thats it. One more chapter to go._


	11. Chapter 11

The days turned into weeks and Qui-Gon opened up more to Obi-Wan than he had to any other Jedi he'd known. They became friends and their sessions with the healer brought them closer together. Qui-Gon came back from a Council meeting to find Obi-Wan chatting to Bant. She'd become a Padawan, and was sharing her experiences with Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon walked in. For a split second, Obi-Wan worried about the noise they were making, but a smile from Qui-Gon reassured him that he was happy.

"Hello Padawan Bant, I believe congratulations are in order, are you enjoying being an apprentice?"

"Hello Master Jinn. Thank you and I am enjoying it, but as I was just telling Obi-Wan it's a lot harder than being an initiate, and I was asking Obi-Wan how you two manage to fit all the sparing and meditation and missions in?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "Yes it's all a part of being a team Bant and working together. Talking of missions, the Council have just given us one".

Bant nodded. "Oh well I guess I better go, have a safe trip and 'May the force be with you both."

As the door shut Obi-Wan looked at his master with worry in his eyes. "Master do you think I'm ready - for a mission?"

"You're ready for this mission Padawan. It will be relatively easy. No tress, no negotiations, and no wars, just peace and quiet."

"What sort of mission is it?"

"Just go and pack Padawan, and leave the details and the worrying, to me."

ooo

The transport they were using was Mace Windu's personal craft. It was small craft but very fast, and it had all the modern communication systems on board, a sleep cabin and a galley, and enough food in the cupboards for a month.

"Master?- Master Windu sure has a lot of food on board his ship." he said as he brought a sandwich back to the cockpit for his Master.

"Does he Padawan, I hadn't noticed."

"Well there looks like there is enough food for a month! I didn't think he ate that much."

"You'd be surprised at Master Windu's appetite Padawan."

"Master, if we're going on a mission how come I haven't any mission reports to read."

The mission is top-secret Padawan. You'll know about it when we get there."

"Top secret- what if something happens before we get there how will I know where we are?"

"Don't worry so much Padawan the co-ordinates are logged into the computer and Master Windu knows where we are going."

"How long will it take for us to get there?"

"To answer your question Padawan, the trip will take three days and I don't envisage anything happening."

"Do I have any research to do for the mission Master?" he asked.

"No Obi-Wan everything has been taken care of and it won't require research. It is somewhat of a mission of the moment thing."

"A Mission, of the moment thing Master, I've never heard you speak like that. What does that mean?"

" It means you don't have to worry about the mission, all you have to learn on this mission is patience."

"But Master, I think I should know where we are going too - what if I have to answer the com unit and someone asks me where I am? What if --"

"Obi-Wan! Did I ever tell you that you worry too much."

Obi-Wan lowered his head and said "Yes many times."

"Do you trust me my Padawan," he asked in a calm voice.

Obi-Wan's head shot up. "Of course I do Master, it's just that you seem to be keeping a secret from me."

"Why young one, do you think I would keep a secret from you?" he said smiling.

Obi-Wan nodded slowly.

"Well Obi-Wan, you're right and no matter how much you pout, or whine, or ask. I'm not going to tell you. Now I've put the craft onto autopilot, so how about we go to the galley, and I'll teach you how to play sabacc."

"Sabacc, Master."

"Have you ever played it before Obi-Wan?"

"No Master, I haven't"

"Well my young apprentice you're in for a lesson then."

"Master?"

"Yes Padawan?"

"Master Windu told me once, that you cheat when you play sabacc with him."

"Did he now, I think he's just a sore loser Padawan, but just in case I promise not to cheat."

Over the next few hours they played Sabacc, and then Qui-Gon taught Obi-Wan a game called Trin Sticks. The object of Trin sticks was to create geometric shapes using a combination of coloured sticks. This game was popular in the casinos. The trip was spent in meditation, learning games and learning about each other. Three days later Obi-Wan stared out of the port viwer and he could see the planet come into view, it appeared like a blue green marble in the distance.

"Master it is beautiful. What's the name of this planet?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Ah hah! Thought you could trick me into revealing the name of the planet, my young Padawan. You only have a few more minutes to wait, before you know where you are, so settle back while I land."

Qui-Gon landed the ship and opened the doors, Obi-Wan stood up and turned towards the ramp. He wanted to see where they were.

"Not yet my young apprentice, you've forgotten something." Obi-Wan turned around to face Qui-Gon, and there in his hands was a fishing rod.

"What's that for Master?" He said in a confused voice.

"This' Obi-Wan, is our catch as many fish as we can, and we have a month to catch them in." he said.

"Fishing Master - I have never been fishing before." Obi-Wan said excitedly.

Qui-Gon smiled as he placed an arm around his young man, and they walked out of the ship and there in front of them was the River of Light.

"Master! we're on Regar 1, this is the place where I returned the rock too, the one you gave me."

"Yes I know Padawan, and that's why we are here."

Qui-Gon stopped Obi-Wan at the waters edge. He turned the boy to face him. "Stand right here, I want to give you something that I want 'you' to keep".

Qui-Gon waded out into the water and retrieved the rock. When he came back Obi-Wan had tears in his eyes.

Qui-Gon knelt down in front of him pulling Obi-Wan's hand towards his own "I give you this stone as a symbol of my love for you. This stone was always yours my Padawan; you are its - Rightful Owner."

Obi-Wan threw his arms around his Masters neck and whispered "I love you too Master."

Fin.

_I know it's mushy but it's better than killing them. I have posted a short humerous story called **A Naked Padawan** if your interested._


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